We live with labels. Single. Separated. Divorced. Widowed. Each conjures up a preconceived notion about the person. Incomplete. Selfish. Sad. Old. Pitiful. Alone. That may describe the situation we find ourselves in, but we are so much more than that. We are rich, complex, experienced, courageous. And…we are alone. Some by choice. Some have their singleness thrust upon them by death or by the choice of others. No matter what the circumstances or what the label, we are living in a world built for two. We aren’t usually invited to dinner parties. We are often unsure where we fit in. We avoid situations that point out our singleness. Our self-identity has been altered drastically…stripping us bare to our very core.

I vowed no matter how much it hurt losing Mr. Virgo, I wasn’t going to sit at home, wring my hands, and adopt way too many cats. (Not that there’s a single thing wrong with having cats, mind you.) If I am going to be labeled, I prefer a label of my own choosing. I prefer ‘unaccompanied woman’. I know there are women who have taken care of everyone else all their lives and now they’re done…they embrace being alone. And, as long as that is what makes you happy, that’s great. I honestly don’t prefer to BE unaccompanied most times, but when I dine or travel I am often alone. Sometimes I end up alone simply because I didn’t think ahead and plan. Sometimes I end up staying at home because I didn’t do my homework. There are several online resources that can help you design a life you can love. I love the website www.sixtyandme.com because it gives me great ideas of ways to spend my time, places to travel, and helpful information I can use in my daily life.

One thing is for sure…after the initial shock of the death or divorce has passed, once all the friends and family have gone back to their own lives, we are going to be left alone. People are NOT going to beat a path to our doors. We have to step out of our comfort zone and make the effort needed to meet people…or at the very least, just to make ourselves get out of the house and do something. Don’t be afraid to be out in the world unaccompanied.