I was angry last week. Now I’m more angry. I shared a post on my personal Facebook page regarding the decision from SCOTUS that will affect all women. I have my own beliefs about it, and I shared them. A dear friend countered with another perspective as is her right. I didn’t engage…I listened respectfully. Honestly, I didn’t really think any more about it because we were camping and I was trying to stay away from all the angry discourse on social media.
Yesterday, I discovered the comments on my post took a turn and people were attacking my friend for her beliefs. Not only that, some started sending her viscous texts. They attacked her work. They encouraged others to do so, as well. It was unrelenting. I never take down posts, but I did this one out of respect for my friend. I never unfriend someone over politics or differing opinions. But I WILL unfriend and block someone for bullying…so fast it’ll make your head spin.
I know it seems like civil discourse is dead these days. It makes me sad to see such vitriol…especially from women to other women. We all have opinions. We may not agree with others, but there is never a point where bullying is ok. Respect each other. Show a little self control. I certainly have not been perfect at this. If you don’t like what you read, scroll on. Unhook. Snooze. Unfriend. Block. But never, ever bully my peeps. That is NOT cool. Jesus wouldn’t do that, so neither should we!
I spent the afternoon riding around the property on the tractor…mowing and contemplating. Should I say anything? Or just let it go? I decided every moment is a teaching moment, so here I am. Teaching Respect 101.
It made the afternoon fly by!
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““You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”
Leviticus 19:17-18 ESV
Looks like we have a culture of rage. Sad.
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We all need more kindness in this world! I pray everyday to be a better person.
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I was part of that conversation, in fact, probably one of the folks you are referring to in this blog post —because you have since blocked me on social media. I find it interesting that you would consider our defense of being called a name (a vicious term I wont repeat here), “bullying.” In fact, we were the ones who were bullied, and defended ourselves with passion. I can only speak for myself (although all others were similar), but will say that my responses to your friend were respectful and well-though out, however, a complete disagreement of beliefs. I have screenshots of that entire conversation and there was NO humiliation going on and no one attacked her beliefs. Just very strong opinions, and disagreements — including from your friend. If you feel the need to call us bullies for strongly disagreeing—and saying so out loud as I am doing here—then maybe you should consider not posting such things in the first place. This is cancel culture at it’s finest. “It’s okay to have an opinion,” as your heading states, but just only if it agrees with your beliefs. I was curious the entire time why you had not piped in to moderate or engage, and now I understand why because you were with her while it unfolded. I’ll be impressed if you actually post my comment. Have a nice day.
Of course I’ll post your comment. And no, I was not with my friend “while it unfolded”, I was with my husband camping. I did not moderate the conversation because I was away and paying attention to my spouse…not to social media. I have no idea what was said in that conversation and honestly, I don’t want to know. My friend and I are diametrically opposed on the issue I originally posted about but we love each other just the same. All I know is, my friend was deeply hurt and she and I have a very long history. There was a lot more going on than that one post on my page. Social media is a strange beast. It doesn’t always bring out the best in people. And there are often issues behind the scenes we are not aware of. There’s no happy ending in situations like this. I felt compelled to stand by my longtime friend. I do try every day to be a kind person but I am human and fallible. I thank you for reaching out and I wish you well.
My apologies for assuming you were with her. I was deeply upset about the conversation also and felt there were several of us being bullied by your friend. My feelings were hurt as well and the conversation was disturbing, at best, because she was a friend and mentor to me for several years. I understand your need to defend her, but without knowing what was in the conversation you are perhaps accusing folks of being bullied, when, in reality, they were simply defending themselves and their beliefs. I have always appreciated your thoughtful voice of reason on FB and I understand your loyalty as her friend, but if you didn’t read the conversation, then you based this post on hearing only one side of the story. Social Media is a beast, I agree. But it also helps us to see the true colors of a person. At least it does for me. As Miya Angelo said “ when people show you who they are, believe them.” I now see who she really is. Maybe she wasn’t upset by the inflection of our words, but more because our defense of her hateful comments challenged her moral superiority? Worth challenging the thought.
Thanks Ginni for keeping the conversation open.
*correction – being bullies, not bullied.
I thought about that, but honestly didn’t have the bandwidth to dive in. That’s on me and I’ll own it. It was an excellent lesson to me to be careful when and how and where I speak my peace. Especially if I’m not up for the challenges presented. In the meantime, I’m doing everything I can as a concerned citizen and trying to be the best human and friend I can be. I’m sitting at the farm watching the bluebirds and knitting a sweater for my oldest granddaughter. Thank you for the civility of your response. We can leave it be now.
*correction- being bullies, not bullied.
I agree with Lorri, Ginny. I too was blocked. You have always been a beautiful voice for those of us with progressive ideas. As you are well aware, those of us voicing a different perspective have been met with harsh responses from your friend and others. I entered that group at a vulnerable point in my life and left the group feeling “othered” and used for my story. Seats at the campfire grow cold when you are not a conservative Christian. I am sorry, but your “friend” and others might need a lesson in acceptance and grace. I hope, Ginny, you are never the one that is “othered”.
There have been many, many times I have been “othered”, Gina. I’m sorry you felt that way because I know it doesn’t feel good. Acceptance and grace is a two way street and kindness is never wasted. As I said in my response to Lorri, there are no clear winners in this situation. I didn’t intend to be personally hurtful to either one of you…I was just thinking of the heart of a long time friend who was hurting about so many things and I wanted to help. I sorely regret posting that meme in the first place. I’ll keep moving forward and doing my best to be that beautiful voice with progressive ideas. I wish you only the best.