We are a disposable society. Gone are the days when Grandma cut the buttons off of worn out shirts or made a quilt using the old blanket inside the new pieced top and backing. Who gets their shoes resoled anymore? The toaster stops working? Get a new one! Our grandchildren and their grandchildren have lost all touch with making do with what you have. Now it’s all the latest and the best of everything. New, new, new!
Grandma reduced, reused, and recycled everything. Mom’s generation held onto everything but bought more as well. My generation is learning that there’s NO ONE on the planet that wants heavy brown floral couches and avocado green appliances and ugly dishes. There’s a totally different mindset now. They don’t want to work the jobs the way we worked them. And if a marriage isn’t working out, get out as fast as you can and move on.
Relationships have become as disposable as my old 8-Tracks and it’s sad. Where my generation was all about free love, these kids are all about anger. Granted…if you are truly being abused in a relationship, then by all means get out as quickly and safely as you can. But too many are bailing from the raft before they even figure out they can ride the rough water and come out the other side.
Our kids were grown with kids of their own when Mr. FixIt and I got together. And I will tell you this one thing is the best thing I could ever have done.
Learn to love their mother.
That single thing has created a beautiful family atmosphere for all of us and alleviated a lot of the feelings of divided loyalties that kids go through. It doesn’t matter how old they are, the worst thing you can ever do to your kids is talk bad about the other parent. You might feel vindicated when the children choose you over him or her, but down the road that is going to come back and bite you on the butt every single time.
I developed this kind of relationship with Hubby #1 and #2, but it didn’t come right away. There seems to be some societal expectation that you are destined to have an acrimonious divorce and hate your ex’s new significant other. It doesn’t have to be that way. Again…I’m not saying this is possible with every breakup. A lot depends on the circumstances that got you there. But there are a lot of missed opportunities if you don’t learn to love your stepchildren’s mom.
I made specific moves to make sure the Former Mrs. FixIt was included and cared for early on. At my bonus grandchild’s bridal shower, I stayed a step back. This wasn’t my party. I love her like my own, but I didn’t kiss her boo-boos or rock her to sleep. She did. This was her place of honor. And, by taking that stance, it seems to have cemented a solid friendship I am so blessed to have.We talk on the phone…a lot. We share our bounty. We are walking in the footsteps of Jesus when he told us to love one another. That means EVERYONE.
We are heading out to one of our favorite campgrounds today and we’ll be back Friday. I’ll post as usual, because…it’s what I do! I cannot imagine not sitting down and writing my evening letter to you all. It’s really hard for me when I take a break away from writing. My world doesn’t feel right!
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““Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.””
John 13:34-35 MSG
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Christmas Calories Don’t Count! It’s not so much what you eat between Christmas and New Years. It’s what you eat between New Years and Christmas! So…eat the cookie!!!
