Another milestone is here. It was six months ago today that the life I had planned came to an abrupt stop. Time, insight, prayer, and hard work has paid off. I am healthy, well rested, loved, and blessed with a whole new life. Not better. Different….and beautiful.

Grief is an amazing journey to the inside. We stop, nurse our wounds, evaluate our past life, contemplate our new life, then stand up to accept the blessings as they come. Life, however long, is too short. If we only had the insight at 30 that we have at 60, we would fill every moment with as much joy and laughter as we can.

Now that this time has passed, I can share with you what happened when Mr. Virgo passed. I was in the ER with him. They were doing CPR. Normally, they don’t allow family in the room for that, but I was there. I’ve worked in the medical field for 42 years…I knew what was going on. At one point, they stopped CPR and watched the monitor. It showed nothing but a dying heart. I sat in stunned silence and looked at this sweet man who was my world. As I looked at him, there was something different about him. You know how the air looks shimmery over asphalt on a hot day? Well, right around his head was this…shimmer. I was taken aback. I thought I must have tears in my eyes, or my glasses were foggy. I wiped both and it was still there. Then, all of a sudden….WHOOSH! This shimmery light came right out of the top of his head! I looked around and it was obvious no one else in the room was seeing this. I looked back again and it was still there, standing tall at the head of the bed. I was dumbfounded. As I watched something even more amazing happened. Imagine a silk scarf lying on a table. If you pinch that scarf in the middle and pull up quickly, it will suck in on itself in a point and get long and narrow. That is exactly what happened with this shimmery energy. A point came right out of the center and it shot directly across the room into my right shoulder. It felt warm and comforting and I immediately felt my pulse and breathing slow down. A peace came over me. Then I heard it. A voice, not like you would hear in your ear, but an internal voice sitting in the back of my head. It said, in the most beautiful, loving voice, “It’s ok…it’s ok…it’s ok…” Over and over and I knew he was gone. No matter what they did, and they did plenty, he was not coming back.

Mr. Virgo’s spirit stayed with me till the end of May when I took a lock of his hair and buried it along our favorite hiking trail down in the wilderness above Pagosa Springs. I was on my way down the mountain and was coming up to the overlook we always stopped at. Mr. Virgo used to tell me that if he could take a picture of Heaven, it would be that view. He was the most comfortable there than anywhere he had ever been. I suddenly felt a physical tugging at my right shoulder, as if someone was pulling it back. I pulled over into the lookout and turned the car off. I said, “Sweetheart, do you want to stay here? I know this is Heaven for you. If you want to stay here, that’s fine with me. If I still need you, I’ll talk to you. But really, you can stay here if you want.” In that moment, I felt his spirit lift off my shoulder and this weight I had been carrying was gone. He hovered around me for a bit. We had a wonderful communal, spiritual exchange, I told him I loved him, and then he was gone.

This experience was as real as any I have ever had physically. I believe Mr. Virgo stayed with me to help me through those initial weeks without him. Once he knew I was going to be ok, he went on. I have never felt his presence since then. This comforts me to know where he is. He’s with God, in his version of Heaven. Can it get any more beautiful than that?