This man. This love. There was a tipping point in my grief. That point where you cross a raging river and the bridge collapses after you. You can’t go back. And, once you’ve lived in the new place a while, you know things have changed in your heart. That other place isn’t your home anymore. This is where you belong. Where you were meant to be. The whole exercise made possible because of the sum of your experiences.
Do I wish Mr. Virgo hadn’t died? Of course I do. But I live in this world now. This life. This is the phoenix rising.
This man. This love. ❤️
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7 ESV
Bittersweet I would imagine since I haven’t experienced this. ❤️
Yes, but as time passes, there is far more sweetness. ❤️
Thank you for the message of Hope.
❤️
Lovely post and message.
Huge loss in my 20’s, huge betrayal my 30’s at a jumping off place in my 40’s. Best leap I ever took!
❤️
You write so fluidly…have you always been able to express such lovely thoughts with so little (seeming) effort? It seems to just flow. I’m very happy for you both;)
First…thank you, Sally. I can’t take any of the credit, though. I just write whatever God tells me to. When I’m listening to Him is when I do my best work.
I actually almost flunked senior English in high school. I have always been a storyteller and when Mr. Virgo died, I used writes as my way to work through that. I was told by people (whose opinion I put WAY too much value in) that I wasn’t a good writer. If I’d been encouraged, I would have a much larger volume of work by this point in my life. I think it’s like any other skill, the more you do it, the better you get. ❤️
Your post was beautiful…and so was your thanksgiving story on the SOTF newsletter this month….both made me cry.
From Nov 2016 to Apr 2018, I experienced huge deep losses; 3 deaths, 2 that were completely unexpected and another loss that was like a death. My mom died at age 87 in Feb 2017, then 8 months later while vacationing in HI with my sister-in-law and my partner, my sister-in-law had a sudden cardiac arrest on the Waikiki Beach while wading in the water. They worked so hard to revive her, but to no avail, and a few days later we had to make the gut wrenching decision to suspend life support. We brought her cremated remains home as we sat stunned on the plane ride home a week after we were supposed to be going home. And then just as I was getting my emotional bearing back….the guy who bought my mom’s house, her home if 51 years, my childhood home, lied to us when he said he was going to remodel it and update everything, instead 3 months after he bought it he tore it down and every single tree, shrub and walkway with it, including the basement that was now filled in with gravel….like she had never been there. No one told us and as we happened to drive by “mom’s” old house we saw the empty lot covered in dirt and gravel. I dropped to the ground and wailed as did my brother. It was like liding mom all over again, only worse.
As I continue my healing, I’ll remember your wise words if needing to put some joy in front of me, something to look forward to…like attending a SOTF event in 2019.
OMGosh! That is terrible to go through losses like that so close together. It keeps you reeling and off balance. I’m so sorry. I am glad you found some comfort in my words. Thank you for being here and letting me know. I appreciate your kind words more that you know. Maybe our paths will cross one day and we’ll meet around a campfire! ❤️
I got divorced in March 2018 n then he died Oct 1 2018. Having mixed emotions; I hate him as He changed his life insurance to beneficiary of our daughters, n spent $130,000 last year alone, I will b working way into 70s God willing. I am feeling sorry for myself and Still have $35,000 to pay against 401K. Then last night I made the mistake watching urban cowboy, which was popular in the early years of our marriage. N we wore boots, went to Billy Bob’s regularly n danced, we were so in love. I feel like the winter coming on cold, empty of life, desolate, wanting a spring very soon. at 58, I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh, Cora…I am so sorry for your multiple losses this year. I can totally understand the inner conflicting emotions surrounding the circumstances. I know it feels lonely and lost and painful right now. I knew I had to put something joyful in front of me in order to survive the loss. I hope you find that “something” that will spark your joy. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, dear one. ❤️