I went into x-ray training straight out of high school. Our first year was spent almost entirely in the classroom with gradual transition to working in the x-ray department. Our second year was almost all hands-on experience. We each had to take turns working in surgery, mostly in orthopedics taking films to see if bones were set and pins were placed correctly. It was fascinating and held my interest far more than high school ever did.
There was a particular orthopedic surgeon everyone was nervous around. He was big and gruff and his voice boomed around the whole floor. When he told you to jump, you asked him how high on your way up. He had a habit of coming to the little closet where we hand developed his films. If he felt you were taking too long, he kicked hard on the door and scared you half to death.
One particularly busy day, he came kicking on my door for the last time. I covered the developing tanks and opened the door and said, “What?!” He just stood there staring at me for a second.
“Where are my films!” His voice bellowed.
I really was shaking in my boots, but I’d had it up to here with being afraid every day so I put my hand on my hip and said, “Well, come in here and I’ll show you!”
He walked in, still in his surgical garb and I shut the door behind him.
As I opened the tanks back up, I explained to him that I could give him fast films or I could give him good films. It all depended on the temperature of the chemicals. Crank up the heat and you could develop those films lickety-split, but they were grainy and had very little definition.
When I was finished, I opened the door and handed him the films. I was absolutely sure I would get my can thrown out of school over that one, but from then on, there was a certain respect between us.
Developing faith is a lot like that. It takes time in a dark room to develop. It’s not like the digital images we great in nanoseconds. It takes work and time. And just like learning to take x-rays, we are tested when we learn to have faith. Those tests aren’t easy. We have to work through them feeling alone and wondering where the teacher is.
You see, the teacher is silent during the test. It’s meant to be that way so that we can focus. Just because we can’t see the teacher doesn’t mean he isn’t there. He’s always there.
These are trying times we are in right now. Hopefully, we are developing in our faith as we spend time in this dark room. Hopefully we are taking advantage of the quiet time during this time of testing. When we develop and grow in our faith, we are given the gift of tools to use when we move on to the next lesson. Faith gets built upon, day by day, year by year. We never stop growing older, so we should never stop growing in our faith, either.
I spent the majority of the day yesterday out in the camper. We watched online church. Then CBS Sunday Morning. Then I packed up my books and headed out to TOW-Wanda. It rained all day and it was so wonderful to cuddle up on the daybed under a blanket. I have to admit, I mostly stared out the windows as the rain dripped down the glass and tapped on the roof. The creek roared outside the window. I let myself feel soothed by the smells and sounds and comfort I find in my little sanctuary.
By the end of the afternoon, I was ready to head back inside. Mr. FixIt had fixed a wonderful meal of baked chicken, potatoes, and asparagus. I felt like I’d had a vacation after spending the night and most of the day in the camper. Those quiet times of reflection, prayer, and meditation develop my faith, too…..slowly, quietly, peacefully.
❤️
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.”
1 John 5:14-15 ESV