I know it’s probably a little early to be wistful about springtime in West Virginia, but it’s really not all that far off. By Wednesday, we are expecting the temperature to climb into the mid 50’s and it will feel glorious after the cold and snow we’ve been experiencing. Those first few days of promising warmth and sunshine stir my adventurous spirit and sends me into fantasies of long road trips and camping in the woods by a stream. 

Yesterday, while still quite cold, was a stellar sunshiny day here in West Virginia. I stood at the big picture window in the family room and gazed out at the light filtering down between the empty branches on the hillside across the road…the snow a glittering stretch of diamonds before me. The cardinals and blue jays, wrens and chickadees, starlings and sparrows all danced from the forsythia hedge to the myriad feeders we have hung about. 

If you look out there in the yard, there is a small tree. Mr. FixIt bought me a pink flowering dogwood tree when I first joined him here on the Ponderosa. He placed it there so that I could see it from my chair in the family room. Every time I look out at it, I am reminded of what a sweet and caring husband I have. And how grateful I am that he is still here with me. He had his first stroke a year ago today, and I have to tell you…there’s a little remnant of trauma sitting in my heart.

That’s what happens when you have had PTSD. Anniversaries, sounds, smells, the way the light shines…anything can trigger the memories of the traumatic event. And any loss, be it death, divorce, loss of a job or a pet or your financial security, or the sudden illness of your spouse can trigger a grief response. He’s doing so well, but I will still tiptoe on eggshells for a little bit before I breathe easier again. I know in my heart God has this. But this is a physiological response, not an emotional or intellectual one.

When I awoke yesterday morning, Mr. FixIt was quietly reading the morning news beside me. I turned to him and said, “Listen…did you hear that?” We neither one could figure out what it was. It sounded all the world like a little kitten, but it turned out to be the starlings in the flowering quince outside the bedroom window. I believe it was the quiet bill and coo of early courtship they were practicing out there, and I must say…I was greatly relieved someone hadn’t dropped off another kitten here at Chez Marshmallow.

We are so blessed in this season of life. Soon, we will have our second shot and we’ll be able to breathe a little easier. Still being careful, of course…but we are certainly heading in the right direction. And when the sun shines, it’s an extra happy day. I hope you can count your blessings every day, because we do indeed have so much to be grateful for.

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“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:1 ESV