I was always a little weird. Never picked for first string on any team. Never felt totally comfortable in my skin. My nose was too big or I was too loud. I didn’t come from money and I had no self esteem. Few people really “got me” but those that did were my strongest and loudest proponents.
As I walked the path of “wife”, I was not always in the most nurturing environment. I questioned myself and my abilities. I measured my self worth through the opinions of others. I was so afraid. My deep seated fear of abandonment kept me in situations long after they became unhealthy. I was a withering vine. I felt weirder than ever. Why wasn’t I like the other wives? It was crazy making.

As I walked the path of “mother”, I hovered and directed and lived vicariously in ways that choked my children’s self confidence. With #2 especially. I wasn’t strong in my faith and raised children who have little to none. That saddens me. I failed them in many ways. But I love them fiercely so I pray that makes up the difference.

Mr. Virgo was, quite literally, my gift from God. That first year we were together, I related story after story reflecting beliefs about myself and time after time, he held my hand and looked in my eyes. In his most sincere voice he said “Sweetheart, that simply is not true.” Over and over. He convinced me of my worth. He showed me I have value. He brought me closer to God. He explained that the world is more beautiful with me in it. He told me I changed his life and made him a better man. Through all of this, he taught me survival skills I did not have. God knew I needed Mr. Virgo. And He knew he didn’t have much time, so He had to work really hard and fast to help me find myself.

When that sweet man, my best friend, cheerleader, and life coach died, my world was shaken and I slipped back a bit. I forgot some of the lessons while I was lost in the fire. But the fog has lifted and I am brave again. I embrace my quirks and differences. My nose is the perfect size for my face. My laugh is contagious. Money doesn’t matter. And it’s ok if people don’t always “get me”. I do.

Normal is overrated. It is a laundry setting. It’s too far in the box. Face the world with the courage to embrace your weirdness!

❤️

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV