My “Secret Garden”…my favorite spot here at home.

Neurodiversity. It’s probably not a term you are familiar with. More than likely, that’s because you are neurotypical. Neurotypical people are your everyday, garden variety humans that do things and feel things and say things like most people. But the human brain is infinitely varied and weird and wonderful. Instead of calling a neurodivergence a “disability”…we become more inclusive if we recognize each other as beautiful and profoundly human and as varied as a rainbow.

I’ve discovered, through some deep discussions with someone on the Autism Spectrum, I am probably a member of that club. Females on the spectrum have an easier time masking it. But I’ve always known I was a bit “different”. I don’t always make good eye contact when I talk to people. I pick up the accents and mannerisms of people around me. I am prone to anxiety and depression. I talk fast and loud…a lot! I’ve never, ever looked at these “quirks” as a disability. On the contrary…they are my superpower. I’m creative. I can be funny. I’m sensitive. I have a big heart. I see and experience the world in a different way. I think in analogies. It makes me a better writer. And a better human.

I stumbled across something the other day that gave me pause. Pathological Demand Avoidance. It’s a subtype of autism spectrum disorder characterized by a greater refusal to do what is asked of the person, even if it’s something they would normally really like to do. I’ve especially noticed this in myself since Mr. Virgo died. If something is my idea, and I have control over it, I’m ok. But, when someone asks me to do something…or I’m expected to do something…it automatically stirs my fight or flight response and I get very anxious. 

This has caused me no end of self-recrimination. It’s made me feel weak. But, I’m telling you, just reading about it has flipped a switch…the light bulb went on. I wasn’t a bad person because I couldn’t go do something with the kids or help a friend. My brain just doesn’t process requests the same as everyone else. A request makes me feel trapped. Reading about PDA is enlightening…and freeing. 

I’ve been using my time in TOW-Wanda this summer for self-reflection. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far…

“Normal” is just a setting on the dryer.

We all fall somewhere on a vast rainbow of diversity. Knowing this gives me a whole new level of empathy and curiosity and love.

?

 “My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?”

James 2:1-5 ESV