We have a White Christmas every morning…it’s called FROST!
Remember back when I first lost Mr. Virgo and I told you I’d be talking a lot about grief and it was going to get real and it wasn’t going to be pretty? I still have readers that were with me since before he died and they can tell you…it’s often been a bumpy ride. I’ve learned a lot about grief in the last eight plus years. From my own. From yours. I know now to anticipate the waves because they can hit you hard. I’ve had a lot of waves hit me the last couple of weeks since losing my dear friend, Sparky. I’ll have more.
I decided yesterday that when the wave comes, I’ll acknowledge it…honor that pain. Because deep grief means deep love and I am so, so blessed to have many friends that I love to that depth. Acknowledge the pain, honor the pain, thank the pain for reminding you of the depth of love, then let go of the string on that balloon. Send it off up to the heavens. Then…and this is the important follow up…remember something truly wonderful about your person you lost. Their sense of humor. Their strength. Their ability to come up swinging every time life knocked them down. The way they made you feel when you were with them. Cry if you need to, but only as you watch the balloon. Then pick yourself up and move on down the road. Repeat as often as necessary.
I had an appointment in town yesterday and decided to go across the river to my favorite grocery story in Ohio. The traffic was abysmal. There was a bad wreck on the main drag and I couldn’t get around it. I felt my anxiety rise as we inched forward. What was I going to see? Would it trigger my PTSD? Then, just as soon as I felt those thoughts, I turned them to prayers. “Lord, be with the people in this wreck and comfort their pain and fear.” “Lord, give everyone patience as we sit here waiting for the traffic to move.” “Lord, lift any anxiety and fear in me so that I can be of service in some way.”
Just then, we got to the spot where three lanes of traffic merged down to one and a turn lane. And there were emergency vehicles coming in both directions. “Lord, part the traffic so the rescuers can get in.” I looked to my right and stopped. I let cars go through in front of me. I’m sure the people behind me were thrilled with me but that was what I did. When I got to the grocery store, people were literally driving around and around the jam-packed parking lot waiting for a spot to open up. Ohhhhhh, no…huh-uh. I didn’t need anything that bad. Besides, I had to stop at Walmart anyway to pick up prescriptions.
I made a couple of quick stops then went to Walmart. It was so crammed full and if I hadn’t been out of one of my meds, I would have skipped that one, too. I honestly felt like I was standing in a bee hive. I chatted with the other ladies in the line. Isn’t it funny when you look at people and think of them as “little old ladies” and realize they’re not that much older than you? I notice the skin on the back of my hands is getting thin. I can see the blue veins. Then I laugh. Because…there’s still blood coursing through those veins! “So. Snap out of it!” I hear Sparky say from afar.
I grabbed milk and eggs and oatmeal for cookies and got the heck out of there.
Ho! Ho! Ho! I gotta GO!
And here it is…Christmas Eve. My heart is a little lighter. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t have to go to town and dive in the hive for a couple of days. At any rate, there’s cookies to be made. Peanut Butter Fudge. Candied Walnuts. Festive containers to be stuffed with delectable treats and delivered to the neighbors. Then, Christmas Eve Dinner for Two…Orange Maple Lamb Chops, Scallops with Lemon Garlic Butter, Baked Potatoes, and Steamed Broccoli. Then we’ll watch White Christmas. And all will be as right with the world as it’s going to be this year. Our Christmas with the kids will be on Sunday, so I’ll have a lazy Christmas Day in my jammies, wrapping presents and knitting.
May Peace be with you this Christmas…and always.
?
“In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.”
Luke 2:1-5 ESV