It was a beautiful day yesterday. The sky was clear and blue. The sun was shining. And it wasn’t quite as cold as it was on Friday. I knitted. Surprise, surprise! I also cooked a little and cleaned the kitchen. Sometimes I get discouraged with cooking because it’s immediately followed by cleaning…again. But, you can’t live on sandwiches all the time and I had a hankerin’ for biscuits and sausage gravy. That right there is a stick-to-your-ribs (and other miscellaneous body parts) kinda meal. I pulled out my biscuit bowl and cast iron and had a heyday.
I am making rapid work of these socks. I can’t believe I’ll have a pair knitted in one week. That rarely happens for me. I usually get bored after a while and have to work on something else. But these are different and I really like this method. I think I’m going to try a toe up technique at some point. That way, you can make the foot of your sock plenty big enough and just knit the top till you run out of yarn so you don’t waste any.
As I sat knitting and watching football, notifications came in on my phone. Most of the time I didn’t bother looking, but occasionally I peeked in to see what was going on. Someone shared a meme that gave me pause. It was about forgiveness. I’ve learned to forgive others for trespasses against me. I’ve learned to forgive myself my human frailties. I shudder to think how much time I’ve spent hoping those who hurt me would say “I’m sorry”.
Take my dad, for instance. Or the men who molested me when I was a kid. Or those who wronged me in relationships. For all of those traumas, I’ve had to heal without an apology. It’s painful. And it’s wrong. But…the lack of an apology was not my fault. No more than the trauma itself was. People are who they are…good or bad, right or wrong. They make their own decisions and it’s a reflection of who they are. As long as I keep my side of the street clean, take ownership of my errors and do my best to make amends, I’ve done all I can do. Life isn’t a neat and tidy package all wrapped in pretty paper and a bow. It’s messy and sometimes downright ugly. I think God gives us many chances to learn from our mistakes. That’s why life sometimes feels like the movie, Groundhog Day. Humans are presented repeat opportunities to learn and grow. It’s up to us if we actually wear that mantle and rise above our trials. And leave them behind. It isn’t easy. It takes a lot of introspection and hard work. I have to say, I think I have a little better handle on that at sixty-eight than I used to. One of the perks of aging, I guess.
We are expecting rain today. I am expecting to finish these socks and start on something else.What are you expecting in your neck of the woods?
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“Stay with what you heard from the beginning, the original message. Let it sink into your life. If what you heard from the beginning lives deeply in you, you will live deeply in both Son and Father. This is exactly what Christ promised: eternal life, real life!”
1 John 2:24-25 MSG