I won’t say my childhood sucked, because there were some really great parts of it. But, due to some of the situations I was placed in as a child, my self esteem took a giant hit and I never felt like I was enough. Or, maybe I was “too much”. Whatever…I never really felt like I fit in. I had a tight core of friends. There were a few bullies. And, there were all these people who didn’t give me the time of day. I grew up thinking it was because they didn’t like me. I internalized it to mean there was something wrong with me.

It took me a long time, and a lot of therapy, to work my way through some unfortunate events of my youth. Living in Colorado, I never really faced any of the people I thought didn’t like me, save for the class reunion every five years. The reunions still felt…cliquish. I went to West Virginia every summer and only hooked up with my old group of high school friends. Nothing ever changed…until Mr. Virgo died.

There is nothing…absolutely NOTHING good about losing your spouse. However, you CAN find good in the rebuilding of a life. When I took off in that little camper to heal my grief one campfire at a time, I didn’t realize the ripple effect that period of intense mourning and introspection would have on other areas of my life. One of the most significant changes I made was letting go of fear. 

Fear had been my constant companion since my early childhood. I saw things and experienced things children shouldn’t see or experience. You can’t unring a bell. I created unhealthy coping strategies because I was too young to know anything about…well, much of anything. When I lost Mr. Virgo and went into the wilderness alone, I had to sit with myself…talk with myself…learn from myself. As I worked on healing my grief, I also worked on healing that wounded child within.

That was some of the most amazing personal growth I’ve ever done and I came out of it an entirely different person. There’s nowhere I feel that more than when I’m hanging out with the “kids” I graduated with. 

I had every intention of staying out at the farm last night, but two things happened. One, the little dorm fridge I bought for the farm didn’t keep the dinner I bought frozen. And, since it was fish, I figured I’d be eating bananas and Oreos for supper. Then, I got a message from a high school friend asking if I was coming to the restaurant to see her. I thought it was tonight. Turns out it was last night. So, change of plans.

It’s a forty mile drive to town from the farm and that’s forty West Virginia miles. I got there a little bit late, but there was a table full of 1971 graduates, just tucking into their meals and heavy into their stories. I ordered a Diet Coke and made my rounds greeting everyone. I finally found a seat near Ruthie…the gal that organized this little soirée. Ruthie recently moved back to West Virginia from Las Vegas. As I looked around the table there were only a couple of these beautiful people that I really KNEW in high school. The rest I’ve come to know as adults…simply because Mark Zuckerberg wanted to connect college students at Harvard and created Facebook.

I sat and watched as everyone told stories and laughed and it struck me. Here were a bunch of people that ran around in entirely different social circles as kids. Yet as adults, there is so much common ground…merely because we walked the halls of the same school at the same time. Our class has been particularly tight. I don’t know if it was the era we grew up in or what, but we bond easily the older we get. Maybe it’s just something that happens when we age. We are less concerned with petty differences and we’re here for the party now. Because we don’t know when the ball will drop.

Anyway, I had a blast catching up with these very cool people and I’ll look forward to seeing them again whenever I can. Hopefully we can actually hold our 50th reunion next year since Covid cancelled it this year. 

You wanna know what I think is the best thing about being sixty-eight? EVERY table is the “cool kids’ table”!

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“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Proverbs 17:17 ESV