Yesterday was my “re-birthday”. It marked 22 years since one of the darkest days of my life. It turned out to be the turning point that actually saved my life. It was the first day of the 8,036 days I’ve spent sober. It was also the lowest point of my depression. Hubby #2 had long since emotionally checked out of our marriage and I had no idea how I was going to survive without him. That night…22 years ago…I overdosed on two full bottles of pills and could easily have died.
It was the end of my twenty year marriage, but it was the beginning of the journey back to myself. I became a better mom…a better friend…a better human. In time. It was hard work and I seriously think it was that experience that gave me the tools I needed to navigate the grief of Mr. Virgo’s death. January 6th is Epiphany…a day of joy and faith. Joy and faith eluded me that day in 2000. It took a lot time, but I’ve found both again in ways I’d never experienced…even with my late husband.
I marked the day with Mr. FixIt. We fiddled around the house a little. We watched some mindless TV. He went to the store for bread and milk. I started knitting the second sock. Then we settled in to watch the “Severe Weather Bulletin” on the news out of Huntington. We can’t get the local news through our satellite company, so we watch what’s happening to our neighbors a couple hours south of us.
The “Severe Weather Bulletin” interrupted regular programming for at least three hours. They had remote broadcasts from eight or ten reporters. They’d switch over and the reporter inevitably said, “Yep…it’s still snowing here.” Then they would pan over and show you the snow on the road. Yep…the road was white. It was snow alright. I had to laugh, because…well, I lived in Colorado for forty years. Where…you know…it SNOWS!
The first snow after Mr. Virgo died. Colorado – December 2013
It’s so funny to see what happens in different areas of the country when it snows. An inch of snow can paralyze a southern state for days. In Colorado, it’s called October. Or November, December, or any month…clear through May. And sometimes June or July if you’re up in the high country. School let out early yesterday afternoon. You know…to get the kids home before the Snowpocalypse hit. There won’t be school today, I guarantee it.
When my kids were in school in the mountains of Colorado, they only had one snow day that I can remember. It was -27 and they couldn’t get the buses started that morning. If Coloradans called off school every time it snowed…well, there wouldn’t be much schoolin’. So, I kinda giggle at the mass hysteria when we get a little snow here in West Virginia. It was awfully pretty. And I was really glad we didn’t have any place to go yesterday. We just made a big pot of spaghetti and watched it snow. It was a really good place to be…literally and figuratively.
❄️
““He orders the snow, ‘Blanket the earth!’ and the rain, ‘Soak the whole countryside!’ No one can escape the weather—it’s there. And no one can escape from God.”
Job 37:6-8 MSG