I don’t know if it’s because every time I turn around, I read about someone I know dying or not, but the last few weeks have been making me dig deep. I hate that people I know are dying…some all too soon. I know…I’ll soon be 65. I’m getting to the age where we lose more of our contemporaries. I get that. Doesn’t make it any easier. What it HAS done is made me work harder. I’m researching more. I networking more. I’m writing more. Still building a foundation…a platform…a community. Of grievers. FOR grievers.
I was looking at my social media numbers the other day and wondered about my Twitter account. It just kinda lays there. I put some things out there and they rarely get noticed. My words can’t help anyone if they don’t get noticed and that is my goal in all of this…to help others as I hope I’m helping you. As I meditated on what I was doing wrong, I started looking up other writers and bloggers who tweet and do instagram and Facebook. Almost all of them have “grief” in their Twitter handle. “Marshmallow Ranch” tells no one that even a part of my blog deals with grief. I could be trying to raise wild marshmallows for all anyone knows.
I used to get phone calls for Mr. Virgo after he died. They would ask for him. I’d say he’s not available but I could get a message to him.
“Have you seen the catalogue we sent?” a man asked.
“What kind of catalogue?”
“Ranch supplies.”
Oh….this is too easy.
“Oh, thank goodness! We are having a heck of a time with our crops!”
This perked him up. “Oh? What are you trying to grow?”
“Why…marshmallows, of course! This IS Marshmallow Ranch after all!”
Silence.
Then I started laughing and explained I’m not a “ranch” and I don’t grow marshmallows. I’m a writer and I write a grief blog. Which makes about as much sense, public relations wise, as confectionery agribusiness. But I digress.
The point was, I haven’t been reaching as many folks as I could be if I had the word “grief” in there somewhere. So, I did a little experiment. I started a second Twitter account with the handle @GriefMaven. In two weeks, The Grief Maven as seen more activity than in all the five years of the Marshmallow Ranch Twitter account, so I think I’m onto something. I’m still working on it, but I’ve been connecting with some really wonderful writers, bloggers, podcasters, and speakers who deal with grief and grief related subjects. I’m expanding my territory. (Thank you again to the Prayer of Jabez.)
One of the women I have connected with has a FB page called BreatheGrieveBelieve (on Twitter she is @griefsabitch.) As it turns out, we know some of the same people and she lives about an hour and a half from me so we’ll meet for lunch halfway sometime soon. Susan lost her husband and her daughter within 56 days of each other…horrifying. She tweeted this picture a few days ago and it just spoke to me.
I’ve been putting off copying and transferring my early posts from this FB page over to my website because I can only do it for short stretches of time. It makes me dive back into the early weeks/months/years of this journey and it stirs up a lot of pain. Yesterday, I got to the post where I told you I was dating someone. I read what I wrote back then and rolled my eyes. Quote: “Now that I’m over my grief…” What??? I was six months out. As I read that, I thought…Nope, that has to go. I don’t want that in my blog. But I cannot rewrite history. I told you all from the beginning I was going to be brutally honest and tell you what I was going through on this hellish roller coaster and by golly…it doesn’t get much uglier than watching someone put a bandaid on their grief and date someone WAY too soon. Well, yes it does….when the bandaid gets yanked back off. That was pretty brutal.
Anyway, I own everything that has happened to me so I’m telling my stories. Sometimes they embarrass ME…that I could have been so blind, so naive, so stupid. But…I was none of those things. I was grieving. And for that, I give myself a pass. ❤️
“Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?”
Job 12:12 NIV
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Yea, but we loved you then & we love you now. Warts n all…
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I am happy to hear this. You have a gift for helping those like me who muddle through grief daily. You encourage me and give me hope. Thank you!❤️
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Bless your heart, Ginny. You are so brave and I admire that very much!
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my brother died in June 2017. 2 months later my mother died. 2 months later I lost my job of 23 years. a few months after that my mothers brother died. my immediate family is gone. there are complications with my niece and nephew as my mother never got to her lawyer to take my brother off the will and now I am left dealing with 2 people who want nothing to do with moms house that I now have to share with them. I never hear from them, they never call . I am full of anger and grief. the depression has left me disempowered right now. other that spending time at my mothers cleaning and packing, going through pictures , I spend my days home alone. I will be 70 in a few days and for the most part I am alone now. my family is gone.
Oh, Nancy…my heart aches for you. What a tragedy to befall you. Perhaps you can reach out to a local church or grief group for some support. God always has a plan even if we have no understanding. My prayers are with you. ?
Thanks. I have been following you on fb. and I also thought that you owned a ranch! This May I am going to Croatia where the Virgin Mary appeared to some children there and will be staying with one of the children that is still living. I will be going with my brothers best friend and his family. He knew Mike since he was two yrs old and has kept in touch with me . H e used to do that with mom too and take her to brunch once in a while. I’m glad I have him . I own a little Scamp trailer and if I can do it I’m hoping to join Sisters on the fly and do some camping this summer. It depends on what happens with moms house. Ive been looking for a used class b that’s in good shape. That way I can just jump in and take off for a while. Anyway, I don’t know why God allowed this to happen in such a close time frame. I’m just trying to take one day at a time and definitely waiting for the nicer weather. I just cant get myself to do much of anything. That numb empty feeling is still there. Maybe we will get to meet in person one day. Take care.
Well…I live on a farm! If I would have been living in WV when I started the blog, it would have been named “Marshmallow Farm”. We don’t call them ranches here. The story came from bales of hay wrapped in white plastic. My younger daughter was 4 and wanted to know what they were. Her 19 year old sister told her this was a Marshmallow Ranch…they grow the marshmallows big like that, cut them up in little pieces, bag them, then send them off to the stores. When I was creating my art studio, I was looking through a box of stuff and came across the picture of those hay bales and hence…Marshmallow Ranch was born.
I’m so sorry you are going through so much. So happy you are going to Croatia. That will be and interesting campfire story. Maybe you’ll tell me about it sometime if we get to camp together. ❤️
I truly want the painting “First Day in Heaven”! It describes how I have felt my entire life. Please, how can I get this painting.
Unfortunately, I have no idea how to get the painting. The artist is Egyptian and I cannot find a place to buy the painting. His name is Kerolos Safwat and he does have a Facebook page. You might follow him and ask when/if he will be selling prints. ❤️