My friend Deneene has been widowed three years now. Shortly after her husband died, she became friends with a fellow who lived near her kids. They were “just friends” and she was absolutely certain she would never fall in love with anyone. But, as soon as I saw her friend’s picture, I knew in my heart this is who she was destined to be with, but I didn’t say anything. They supported each other as they were both going through a rough patch in their lives. A couple of years after that, they ran into each other again. This time, something clicked and long story short…they fell in love. Like many of us, love after loss is magical and she has decided to sell her home here in West Virginia and move to the south to be with her love.

Dee is facing something I’ve already been through…clearing out YEARS of “stuff”, selling a house, and moving hundreds of miles away. I am hoping her experience will be easier than mine. I did it at one year after losing Mr. Virgo. I was still reeling from my loss and heading into my second year which was much rougher for me than my first. I remember after making the decision, just the sheer enormity of the task was totally overwhelming. I cannot tell you how many times I sat on the floor and cried, not knowing where to start or what to do next. My daughter came to help one day. A couple of friends helped out when they could. But the bulk of the work, and all of the decision making, was mine.

My friend is very wise. She’s been reading this and other grief blogs and listens to all of your suggestions. The first thing she did was create an event on Facebook for an Estate Sale in a month. Then, she asked for any and all volunteers, specifying what jobs need to be done and when. Wisely, she reminded her friends of the time they told her three years ago… “just let me know what you need and I’ll be there.” So, she’s calling in the favors. I applaud her for that. She already has people lined up to help her, myself included.

I remember how daunting that task was. I remember what a struggle it was to make decisions as to what to keep, what to give to the family, what I could sell, what I should throw away. It was brutal. But the rewards were many. I felt lighter with each load that went away. There were things I really loved, but no one else I knew would have, so I took pictures of them before I sent them on their way. Now I have a photo album on my phone and I can visit them any time I want. There are things I regret getting rid of, sure. But my life was so much easier without the burden of all that stuff around me.

I’m hoping Dee can keep her eye on the prize…the freedom that will come when she has fulfilled her goal of downsizing and selling the house. I am also hoping that the extra two years of grieving she has gone through saves her the gut-wrenching tears. I have a feeling she may find it a bit more emotionally charged than she thinks it will. She is a very strong woman. She is young, healthy, and happy. She has a love waiting for her in the south. She’s going to do great, I’m sure. She’s still in my prayers, though. It isn’t easy under any circumstances to face such an enormous task alone. ❤

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭ESV‬‬