On Loving…Unconditionally

A wedding invitation
“I am a Christian AND I love everyone… unconditionally.”

The other day, a West Virginia delegate made a series of ugly and disparaging comments about the LGBTQ community. He compared them to terrorists and the Ku Klux Klan. He was interviewed later and given an opportunity to clarify his position, and it was actually SO much worse than what was originally reported. When asked what he would do if his son or daughter came home and told him they were gay, the delegate said if it was his daughter, he would take her for a pedicure. If it was his son, he would take him hunting. And if, upon their return, they still said they were gay…he would take them out and “see if they could swim”. The interviewer was aghast and asked, “Are you saying, you would take them out and try to drown them???” He just looked at her with a sinister grin and didn’t answer.

I was sickened, on so many levels. First and foremost, that he has this kind of hatred in his heart and calls himself a Christian. Second, that he would turn away from his children, or worse…do them physical harm. And, finally…it HAD to be a West Virginian. Why did he have to come from MY state? The answer is, because there are people like him in every state.

Here of late, I have been so uplifted and fortified by my faith, I have been shouting “Hallelujah!” from the rooftops. And that’s how I feel…excited by the ways I see God move in my life. Excited about the opportunities to share my stories of his love and provenance. Then, this week…I received this wedding invitation. And I was reminded, I may be giving people the wrong idea about who I am in my faith.

Some people may equate my bold Christian joy with the kind of person who denigrates those who are unlike them, like that delegate from West Virginia. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do not discriminate against anyone. I’m not perfect, but I certainly try to emulate Jesus at every turn. He loves everyone. He does not see people from the outside. He looks at their hearts. After raising my daughters in the Jewish faith, I was appalled when Daughter #2 came home from school crying because the kids called her a “stupid f****** Jew”. I held her close and tried to explain ignorance and intolerance and bigotry. It broke my heart. 

I respect all faiths, save for those who kill people in the name of their god. I respect all people, save for those who kill or maim or injure children or animals. When I raise my voice in praise for Jesus, I don’t want it to exclude my love for others who don’t believe as I do. I don’t want to walk ahead of and ignore the one who is still looking for God. I don’t want the Muslims and the Jews and the Seiks and the Hindus and even the atheists…anyone of any faith…to think I do not love them equally. I look for, and see, the God in all people. That divine spark that comes from somewhere far beyond the stars. That sign of something far greater than any of us here. 

I also embrace the LGBTQ community as my fellow human beings, who house that same divine spark as me. It is not my place to judge anyone…not even that delegate from West Virginia. Everyone will be judged by their maker in the end. It’s not my job. At the same time, I’m going to tell you about this amazing Jesus who rules my life. And, I’m going to show you, as best I can by the way that I live, how a good and loving and forgiving Father has changed me. The two can, and in my humble opinion SHOULD walk hand in hand.

Because, you see…that wedding invitation we got in the mail this week? That’s from Daughter #2 and her fiancée…a very kind and loving woman who has helped my baby become a better version of herself. They are getting married in Colorado in August. They love each other completely… unconditionally. How can I not do the same with both of them? This is my child. We love who we love. It is not my place to judge. You may do what you wish, but I do pray I will always, always, always land on the side of love. Because that is the way Jesus loves me.

***If you don’t agree with me, that’s ok…I won’t judge you either. I know this is a hot topic for some, but this is my house, my rules. We speak with respect here. This is a case where we’ll take my grandma’s advise…”If we can’t say anything nice, we won’t say anything at all.” ❤️

“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”

Romans 14:1-4 ESV

18 thoughts on “On Loving…Unconditionally

  1. I believe you can still love the person but not like or love what they are doing. We need to show them our faith through our actions. Good blog!

    1. I agree. Love the sinner, hate the sin! I have a son who is married to another man, whom I adore, but I don’t like how they are living. I just put them in God’s hands and pray for them!

  2. I agree with you 100%. How can anyone call themselves a Christian when they have hate in their heart? Congratulations to your daughter and her fiancee.

  3. I, too, am a West Virginian and am appalled and disturbed by the comments of that delegate. I truly cannot understand that kind of hatred and cruelty. Jesus loved everyone! Congratulations to your daughter for finding love!

  4. My son, who has since passed, was gay. I loved him before he “came out” and I loved him after he “came out”. It made no difference in my love for him. He grew up during a time when gays were mostly verbally abused and hated by many who had no problem in calling him names, to his face. He tried so very hard to hold his head high but it wasn’t easy.
    It makes me happy to see that times have changed a good bit and in many more instances, people are accepted for who they are.
    Your post was wonderfully stated, thank you for sharing.

  5. Congratulations to the engaged couple! Love should always be celebrated.

    Jesus outraged people in his time by not following many of the Jewish laws of the Old Testament, such as healing on the Sabbath and not fasting. He also distilled the 10 Commandments into the Two Great Commandments, both pouring forth the spirit of the 10 by emphasizing LOVE. (Love God with all of your heart… and love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:34-40)

    As time goes by, our understanding is meant to deepen based on God’s revelation to scientists and philosophers. What people didn’t (and often still don’t) understand, they feared, then made laws against. God made us all in his image. We have a lot still to understand. In the meantime, just LOVE. That’s our way to obey the 2nd Great Commandment. Peace!

  6. I look at what the Bible has to say and it’s pretty straightforward on the issue of homosexuality. It hasn’t changed. What that man said was awful, and we aren’t supposed to hate people or hurt them, but at the same time accepting the person as a human being and disagreeing with their lifestyle is not hate, it’s disagreement and sometimes its separation. I have gay neighbors I get along with and chat with, and I’d love to see them get saved and change, but I do not condone their lifestyle because it goes against what the Bible says. I don’t hate them, I’m not angry with them, they are not saved, if they were I would expect them to leave that sin behind like any other lifestyle of sin. People say ‘love is love’. More and more this is being used as an argument by some to legitimize pedophilia. (I’m not kidding, it was even in a TED talk.) God is love, but he set boundaries.

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