I’ve been thinking a lot about my friend Bill’s wife. As a new widow, those of us who have walked this path are so painfully aware of where she is in general. Everyone’s grief is different, but I would say there are more similarities than differences in those first few weeks. She did so well at the funeral. She is a strong woman of faith and God’s light was all around her as she lovingly tended to the bereaved, putting her own grief aside as best she could. I remember feeling like a hostess at a very macabre family reunion. I was disconnected, numb…my daughters turning me this way and that in the direction I needed to go.

I sent this new widow an e-mail with my condolences. I forwarded the e-mail Bill sent me in response to the news of Mr. Virgo’s death. My hope is those tender words of comfort in her husband’s own writing will soothe her heart. I also sent her a link to Marshmallow Ranch for support should she care to join us. I know how much comfort I receive from you all…surely she will find something meaningful here.

I am surprised at how much I have struggled since I arrived in Colorado this trip. I started out on the wrong foot with altitude sickness. That sent me down a rabbit hole to explore some more of my own grief. Then the news of losing such a vital member of our community and our church family as well as a friend has kept me off balance. I’ve been doing a lot of self care this trip. Last summer was epic with lots of camping and fun activities with the kids. Yesterday was spent with a migraine the likes of which I haven’t seen in quite some time. This summer is entirely different. And, that’s ok. It’s just another turn in the path, a few more flames to walk through…another layer of the onion to peel back and cry over. I do have a different stress level this year as I prepare my book proposal and my talk in DC in August. Writing this book keeps me coming back and diving into the tough stuff. I swear, there must be a name tag here somewhere, like….Chief of Archaeology, Grief Division. The work is never done.

As I contemplated this during a mostly sleepless night (the nights…that’s when it gets you, doesn’t it?) I came upon this passage and read it over and over. It reminds me of the feather tattoo on my wrist. My burdens are as light as a feather because God carries them for me. IF I remember to hand them over! Ahhhhh…there’s the rub.

❤️

““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””

Matthew 11:28-30 NIV