My relationship with food has changed. I’ve been a yoyo dieter all my life. I’ve been lazy and eaten everything that isn’t nailed down. I’ve stuffed my emotions down with ice cream and chips and cookies and…and…and! The list goes on and on. I’ve felt how good thin feels only to wind up heavier than I was before. I’ve stood in front of a mirror and loathed my tummy and thighs and upper arms. I’ve resigned myself to accept where I am and that’s just the way it is. I’ve told myself I’ll always be fat. But, listen to me…I’ve changed my thinking. Yesterday morning everything became clear for the very first time in my life. Please indulge me as I share my Pastor’s message of the day.

Pastor Justin spoke of Jesus healing the crippled woman in the Synagogue. She was bent forward, walking for 18 years, looking down at the dirt. She was an outcast because she was disfigured…she was different. Jesus called her to the center of the Synagogue and told her to stand straight and tall. And, she did so. There was an ensuing argument as to whether it was appropriate to heal on the Sabbath and Jesus scolded the priests saying all services should be to the betterment of the people, no matter the circumstances.

We all have disabilities. Some are quite obvious and are seen by the world. Others are hidden and carried throughout our lives, often under an umbrella of guilt and shame. The fact that the woman was bent over looking at the dirt is symbolic of someone without hope. Someone living under the impression that things will be like this forever. Internal disabilities can manifest in many ways. Addiction. Anger. Abuse. Self-indulgence in eating, spending, sleeping. All of these things display a mark of injury to the psyche by one source or another.

I was sexually abused by two different men by the time I was 13. My father was a verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholic. I married too young. I had a husband whose love language was so far removed from mine that I withered on the vine. I made extremely poor choices. I was bent over, seeing no way out. I stood tall once I accepted Christ in my life. And Mr. Virgo nurtured my newfound stature, reinforcing my worth and value…as a wife, as a mother, and as a human being. Then he died. And my resolve slipped. Not my faith, but my resolve, my ability to remember I am a beloved child of God. The weight of grief bent me back down into that all too familiar posture where I saw only my feet. And I fell back into old patterns of coping. I ate irresponsibly and ballooned to tip the scale at over 200 pounds early this year.

I am fortunate to have recognized what I was doing and made the decision to thrive this fourth year after losing Mr. Virgo. But what’s to keep me from slipping again? The parable of the crippled woman who was healed by Jesus, that’s what. He touched her. As He has touched me. I won’t bend over again. I will stand up tall, straighten my crown, and remember Whose child I am. Am I still broken? Of course…we all are. But I no longer need to carry the weight of my burdens. As the tattoo on my wrist reminds me, my burdens are as light as a feather because God carries them for me.

❤️

“On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God. Indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, the synagogue leader said to the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.” The Lord answered him, “You hypocrites! Doesn’t each of you on the Sabbath untie your ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water? Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?” When he said this, all his opponents were humiliated, but the people were delighted with all the wonderful things he was doing.”

Luke 13:10-17 NIV