To the right, through the trees, you see an appartment building with balconies. On the top floor, to the right of the balcony, is the window of the livingroom in our flat.

Have you seen that meme… “Don’t look back. You aren’t going in that direction.”? I have. And there’s a lot of truth in that. If we live in the past or hold grievances from long ago, that hasn’t healed anything that’s already happened. That day is gone. It can’t hurt you anymore. But the memories…ahhhh, that’s where we can get caught up in a lot of self-defeating angst. 

On the top floor, the balcony closest to the camera was ours…just off the livingroom.

I read something about forgiveness the other day that really spoke to my heart.

The front walkway.

“Forgiveness is not a matter of exonerating people who have hurt you. They may not deserve exoneration. Forgiveness means cleansing your soul of the bitterness of ‘what might have been,’ ‘what should have been,’ and ‘what didn’t have to happen.’ Someone has defined forgiveness as ‘giving up all hope of having had a better past.’ What’s past is past and there is little to be gained by dwelling on it. There are perhaps no sadder people than the men and women who have a grievance against the world because of something that happened years ago and have let that memory sour their view of life ever since.”

Rabbi Harold S Kushner

There used to be clotheslines right about where the photographer would have been standing. I hung diapers there to dry as best they could between the frequent English rains. I ended up buying a drying rack and aired them out between the balcony and the livingroom.

I received some photos the other day that took me WAY back. Back to my first marriage. Back to living in England…a young bride, so far from home for the very first time. It’s where my first child was born. England was a wonderful life experience for me and I still have dreams of it from time to time. As every rose has thorns, that marriage had some prickly ones that were hard to go through and it didn’t last very long.

The narrow walkway from the parking lot to the front doors.

I’ve worked diligently through the years on forgiveness. Forgiving others. Forgiving myself. Forgiveness seldom takes on the first try…or even the tenth. But practice brings improvement and eventually I found peace with the hard knocks of life. Each experience contributed to who I am and where I am today. Without the experiences, I likely wouldn’t be writing to you today. So, I’ll live with that.

Driving on the wrong side of the road, sitting on the wrong side of the car, shifting with your left hand, navigating round abouts and zebras (crosswalks) and minding the cyclists and horses…land sakes, it was a challenge when I was young. I can’t imagine doing it now.

In the meantime, let me share these photos. Forgiveness has made these memories warm and sweet. I do hope that one day I can return here to visit and maybe take my daughter to see where she was born. For now, I look and remember simpler times. Times when I thought I knew it all, yet had no idea how much I didn’t know. The world was still rosy and fresh and new. Thank God, I’ve found those glasses again and can see it much the same way. As I wrote this, I heard a large jetliner overhead and checked on FlightAware only to find it was a flight headed to London! Lucky travelers!

I’ve no idea if this was the actual chip shop we frequented, but I have fond memories of paper cones made from newsprint, filled with golden, crispy, greasy fish and chips doused in malt vinegar and salt. Oh, yummmmm!

When we think differently, the world looks different.

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“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.””

Mark 11:25 ESV