A Halo Around the Sun…Life is a Mystery!
I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster this week…and it’s only half over. Here we are at the beach…enjoying our time away…yet, so much is going on, it’s hard for me to let loose and focus on relaxing into oblivion. Sometimes, life is just that way. It doesn’t serve exact dishes from an exact menu at exactly the time you want…or NEED them. It seldom works that way.
Practically on our way out the door Friday, my cousin sent me a message. My uncle has listed Grandma’s farm with an agent and it is being auctioned off. There is a minimum bid, and the Auction closes at 7:00PM on May 18th. I thought we had till July, but I’m sure it makes more sense financially to sell in the spring. It’s disappointing on many levels…not the least of which, my kids won’t get the opportunity to go say goodbye to the place. I’m hoping the new owners will be amenable to allowing this when they come for a visit in June. I’m also sending this link to everyone I know, hoping someone I know will snatch up this beautiful place and I can still come back for visits! Hey, a girl can hope! (Edit: I found out this morning…the auction ends 5/18 but the sale doesn’t close till 7/3!!! So, my plans for a gathering may work after all!!!)
I also got a call from the endocrine clinic and my labs show I have recurrent hyperparathyroidism. They couldn’t see those other two glands and they hoped they were ok, but obviously they aren’t. They called me again yesterday to address that, and some other tests that will need repeating in three months. I’ll need to have a specialized scan in September after everything heals and all the swelling is gone and we can try to visualize those glands that are playing hide and seek in my chest. After that, we’ll discuss what to do which is more than likely another surgery…this time in the chest. NOT the result I was hoping for, but it is what it is. My symptoms are back to what they were before the surgery, but I ten wonderful days of feeling like I did before this all happened, so that gives me something to strive towards.
My cousin and her family came and took a lot of the furniture from the farm back over the mountains. It’s theirs and I have no problem with that. They were careful not to take any of my things. I wasn’t worried that they would. And, it’s not the “things” that’s the problem. It’s walking back into the house when we get back home and seeing Grandma’s table and buffet and secretary desk and other things gone. It’s the change. It’s the loss. The loss of my childhood home…my happy place…my safe space. That’s what’s bugging me.
Then I think of my friend who lost her son…then twelve days later, unbelievably lost her husband, too. I think of my dear friend Sue who lost a year and her hair and her breasts to cancer. I think of my friend Sharon who is struggling with long haul covid on top of liver failure and sees her strength, and perhaps even her independence, slipping away from her. I see my Aunt and my Uncle struggling with health and memory issues. I see the young people in my family facing difficult challenges in their lives. I see the scary things of the world and my issues seem so paltry in comparison.
The Lord tells us, the things of this world will give us trials and tribulations. But He has overcome the world. And we can, too. It’s all a matter of faith and focus…letting go and letting God take care of us. We have to suit up and show up and get in the game and do our part…of course. But sitting here “crying in my beer” is not the answer to this situation. That doesn’t help me or anybody else.
I’m looking at the opportunities that lie ahead. Ok…the farm thing is just happening sooner than we thought. That’s less mowing and less responsibility…financial and otherwise. My friends’ loss gives me the opportunity to be more like Jesus and be of service to them. Not having the responsibilities of the farm frees up more time and resources for that. So? My hips hurt and I have weird pains that migrate about and I’m grumpy and can’t sleep. So what? I can still go see a beautiful sunset with my sweet husband and hold his hand and eat ice cream in the dark. I’m not dead. I’m inconvenienced. Inconvenience didn’t kill anyone.
As we got in the truck yesterday to go for a drive around the island and go antiquing, I looked up and noticed a halo around the sun. I’ve seen these often around the moon, and sometime will catch a refractive prism of light in the sky called a Sun Dog, but I’d never see a full halo around the sun except in winter. So, I took it as a sign…a God Wink. He was telling me… “It’s all part of the Circle of Life. Time is eternal…just go with the flow.”
Time to get back on my horse and ride.
?
“For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in order that no one may delude you with plausible arguments. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ.”
Colossians 2:1-5 ESV