I seem to always borrow knitting needles from my dear friend, Gail. It happens when we are camping together. Why? Because, she either hands me a skein of alpaca that she just spun, or she is making something much cuter than what I am making, or I’m bored and need something to keep my hands busy. I’m like a kid in that way. I need something to do, most of the time.

Gail sent me a beautiful gift for Christmas…a full set of 32” circular needles as well as several sets of double pointed needles and a couple skeins of beautiful wool blend sock yarn. I remember her showing me a dandy technique for knitting socks with a single 32” circular needle, but I couldn’t remember exactly how it’s done. I got bored knitting dishcloths yesterday and decided to look up the technique on YouTube. 

I found The Crazy Sock Lady (aka Kay Litton) of Centerville, Ohio. Of course…she’s everywhere. Ravelry, YouTube, Instagram, Etsy, Facebook. She has a bunch of patterns for sale. I’m making her Vanilla Socks on Magic Loop. Quick and easy…but there will be a learning curve when it comes to turning the heel. There always is. That’s the hardest part for me, I think. At any rate…there are certainly other things I could be doing, but it feels good to do some self care. To sit and meditate and pray. To listen to the crackle of a campfire with the distant rumblings of thunder over my headset. 

I have to tell you…when my friend Diane died on December 13th…I went into such a slump, it really began to concern me. Having a history of clinical depression makes me super aware of my mood. Everyone has a down time. It’s one thing if if lasts two or three days and you shake it off. It’s a different thing altogether if it’s gone on for two weeks without improvement. The best thing I could have done for myself when I lost Mr. Virgo was to buy that little camper. Camping saved me in many ways. When I was grieving Diane’s death, I went to the same place…our camper.

Honestly, a camper is as near being in a chapel as I can get shy of walking into a church building. That and the farm. It’s a safe space for letting out my feelings and emotions. To cry and yell and bargain and plead. Then…fall into the deep sleep of emotional exhaustion. Those two days in the camper before I had my procedure last week were as helpful to me as a month of antidepressants and therapy. I feel so much better now. I still miss my friend and I always will, but I’ll find other ways to honor her…as she would want me to. I’ll find quiet ways to pay it forward in her memory and remember the many ways she affected my life. 

I mean, really…isn’t that what you would want from those you love after you leave this life? To live on in their memories and good works? I can’t think of a better tribute. I think of this blog as a trail of breadcrumbs that I lay down for my progeny to find someday. The stories of my life are all here…held in the ether…just waiting for the day when my grandchildren or great grands or I don’t know how many generations to come. Some day, they’ll read this and think… “Wow! What an amazing life she led!”

I actually had that conversation with Big last week. She is getting ready to graduate from high school in May. She has committed to a college in the Pacific Northwest. She has such an amazing life in front of her. Somehow, we got to talking about my life and what I’ve done. She knew I was an x-ray tech and that I did clinical research. But there were so many things she didn’t know about my life before her. I told her story after story and kept getting “Wow!” “You’re kidding!” and “That’s awesome!” 

The words I write in this blog are my time capsule. I think that’s pretty neat.

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“but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.”

Luke 2:19 NLT