Sometimes, when I stretch my wings and step out of my comfort zone, I stir up that sleeping monster called “Anxiety” inside me. It’s as if his radar gets a signal that I’m about to try something new and he jumps up like a junkyard dog, ready to attack me to keep me in my place. He is happiest when he wreaks havoc in my life. I have come a long way in taming that beast, but it takes a great deal of strength to hold onto the chains that bind him.

I’m traveling this weekend and meeting new people. I’ll be in a crowded music venue in a strange place far from home. I’m not crazy about the idea, even though I’m SO excited to see this artist and meet these people. It’s a dilemma I am often faced with…overcome social anxieties or stay sequestered. I’m not about to hole up and not enjoy every opportunity that can bring joy into my life so I grab the chains tighter. This was my position at 3:00 yesterday morning. Those hours before dawn are a trap. I sometimes lose my grip on the chains. Then, I saw this meme and it reminded me to look at my tattoo. My burdens really are light as a feather because God carries them for me. I used my Rescue Remedy (I cannot recommend this stuff enough!) In the stillness I laid down the chains that held the beast and let God hold me. Within a minute, I was sleeping soundly and, as always, my world was different in the light of day.

Stretching is a challenge when you have an anxiety disorder. People can’t see it so they don’t understand it. They have all kinds of patience with your insecurities and twisted realities…for awhile. Then they don’t get it. “Why can’t you just get over it?” “Just let it go, already!” It takes infinite patience and love to stand by someone with anxiety. I am forever grateful to those who love me in spite of myself. My anxiety is so much better, but still raises its ugly head on occasion. Forward…ever forward.

❤

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:13