A Welsh word for the yearning…the grief for the places of your past. Yet, not necessarily a house. A place in your life that you can never return to. This is so much of what grief is…that longing to return to that homely feeling of the love you shared with another. I remember feeling this so very strongly after losing my grandma. And then my mom. It consumed me when I lost Mr. Virgo…that longing for home.
I felt it when I lost my dad, but in a different way. I yearned for the daddy I never had…not the father that was lost in his cups. I feel it from time to time for my mother’s house that I regretted selling almost before the ink was dry.
I feel it in a way, at this very moment, lying in my grandparent’s bedroom…knowing each day here is one closer to the last I will experience in this place. Anticipatory hiraeth. I wonder if that’s a “thing”?
I know this word. I feel this word in my bones. The dichotomy is not lost on me. Unspeakable joy, unspeakable tragedy, unspeakable joy. The ebb and flow of life swings with such violence at times. Right now, I’m enjoying an easy float down a peaceful stream, my fingers gently trailing in the calm blue water. But my bones remember. Bones never forget. ❤️
“By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.”
Hebrews 11:3 ESV
#Hiraeth, #longing, #love, #home
Oh Ginny, this speaks to me today! Even though my life is full, I long so for a time and place that I cannot go back to! I can’t even visit this place because it’s torn down and something else has replaced it…my memories are so vivid and i talk of it often, look at pictures and communicate with friends who were there. To make a long story short, our family (and many others) were missionaries in Singapore in the ’60’s and ’70’s…I was 10-18-years of age so really aware of it all! The compound we lived on has been sold, buildings torn down and apartment complexes built…NOTHING is the same…Facebook keeps those precious friends together and sharing old photos and memories. I have hiraeth big time!
My heart is with you in your longing. ❤️
I deal with this each day – neighbors that I dearly loved have moved on elsewhere or left this earth – neighborhood is not the same. My family home was sold over 35 years ago and now in a terrible neighborhood and my parents’ home is empty due to present health issues. The town I live in and gave so much to thru volunteerism has lost its treasured elderly who cared about it deeply. Nothing feels like home outside my house.
That has to be difficult, Debra. My heart is with you. ❤️
At last I can put a word to this feeling! Thank you?
❤️
I to long for a long lost home .in 1948 my family of 7 counting parents.traveled across west from Ill.in a model A ford.we went from state to state , Tex .Arizona,N.Mexico. many towns in those states.we picked cotton,Father worked at any job he could find .we lived by rail road tracks. And anyplace we could find.if u ever. Saw the movie Grapes of Wrath.well that was us .we finally went back to Illinois after 2 yrs. Times were hard for a long time. Thank you for all you share.
Melba
Wow, Melba…what a difficult journey that must have been. My mother was born in indiana when my grandpa was working building factories. They had similar stories. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing. ❤️
I long for 2 months ago when my husband was alive. Life was So good then and So bad now.
Oh, Debbie…this is still so fresh for you. It will get better. It will be bad for a while but it will be better. What worked for me was putting something joyful in front of me to work towards and look forward to. Sometimes each step is so, so small. Sometimes you slip backwards. You can’t move on but you can move forward. My faith carried me through. I’m glad you’re here. Reach out anytime you need some support. There are a lot of people here who have walked this path.