Hindsight 2.0

Great Grandmother and little girl
“Daughter #2 with her Great Grandmother that she doesn’t remember.”

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

When I was visiting Daughter #2 a few weeks ago, she mentioned she was heading to Texas soon with her fiancé for a family reunion. She was in awe that this family was renting a beach house for a week. A large group were gathering from all around the country to play games, comb the beach, and renew the close relationship they enjoy. These reunions were started by a grandmother who wanted her family to really know each other. The younger generation decided to keep the reunions going after grandma’s death for the same reason…to remain connected by more than DNA.

I reminded #2 that I took her to West Virginia as often as I could. We had family reunions, too. But, unfortunately, they all but stopped after the older generation passed away. She didn’t really know my family. That made me sad.

She sent me this photo yesterday and asked me who was with her. I told her it was her Great Grandmother on my dad’s side. I had a strained relationship with my dad. I also had an aunt on his side of the family that I was extremely close to growing up. I emulated her, modeling myself after her beliefs, likes, and dislikes. I thought she walked on water. As an adult, I came to learn I missed out on getting to know some pretty wonderful cousins because I saw the world through someone else’s lens. I’ve since rectified that and gotten closer to my dad’s side of the family. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change my children’s upbringing.

Daughter #2 says, “We just didn’t have that kind of family. We didn’t really DO things together.” That is very true. But that doesn’t mean that going forward, we can’t BE that kind of family. We can change this course and I intend to do so, in whatever means I can. I want my children and grandchildren to really know their aunts and uncles and cousins. So, here’s to family…no matter what that looked like in the past. No matter what it may look like in the future. It is the only one we have. ❤️

 

13 thoughts on “Hindsight 2.0

  1. Sadly, I’m nearly 70 years old & I don’t remember my family ever having a family reunion. There may have been some but we were never there. Now all of my siblings are deceased….I never see or hear from most of my cousins or nephews. I’d love to know more about my kinfolks but after all these years it’s not likely to happen.

  2. I’m trying to get closer to family too. As an only child, who never married or had kids and whose parents are gone, I’ve decided it’s time to get to know my cousins. My cousins on my dad’s side are who & where, I don’t know. Cousins on my mom’s side are who I’m connecting with, trying to get to know. This is a hard process when I am a 5 hour drive away and they don’t come to me I have to go to them every time. I’m working at it, hopefully some day I will be able to entertain them in Ohio before we are not able to travel any more. (I’m the youngest at age 61)

  3. I wish she could have known Grandmother. I’m looking at this pic and tearing up. She was my best friend and still is to this day. I have held that beautiful hand so much that I know it like my own.
    I’ve always been so awkward and unsure of myself. She was the only one that truly knew my heart, knew my insecurities, and validated my worth. When I feel these things today, I still turn to her, gone these many years, for guidance and assurance.
    One hundred years to the day after Grandmothers birth, my daughter (her namesake) decided that it was time to begin to make her appearance into this world. It took her almost a week , lol, but when she did I looked in her eyes and knew that I had been given a gift… I could see Grandmother there and still do every day.
    Ginny, I apologize for the rambling here. As I read it I recognize how disjointed it seems. But she has been on my heart so much of late…. when I saw your post it rather overwhelmed me. God bless you my cousin and thank you. ❤️

    1. God bless you too, Kim. I wish I could have known her like you did. It’s not that I have NO fond memories of her. I do. But I didn’t really KNOW her.

      I remember she had a rollaway bed that she would bring out of a closet for me when I stayed the night on Avery Street. She made the best chicken and dumplings I ever ate. She always made beautiful cakes. And Mike and I would stop at her house every day after school and eat our fill of donuts and milk! Notice a trend there? I was all about the food!

      Cousins forever! ❤️

      1. She was a great cook fer sure! She was teaching me to bake. We never got to biscuits and pie crust… my greatest regret! lol. But I told my feller that this winter he’s going to eat a lot of mistakes til I get it down! Lol! I know she will be with me… laughing I’m sure! ❤️

  4. I come from a big family; both parents had 9/10 brothers and sisters, so grew up with lots of cousins. Unfortunely my dads side other than a few cousins have lost contact with most of
    them, which is sad. But with a couple cousins on my moms side we decided to do reunions every couple years, to get to know the younger generation, and not just see each other on sad occasions, we started to lose uncles, aunts and even cousins.

  5. This writing touches my heart. Hubby and I are here in upstate New York for about six weeks. We lost my mom this spring and since the funeral I really haven’t talked to my siblings. We are having a get ogether this Sunday something my parents started. I have informed them that we are here and where and til sometime in September. All I have heard is what to bring to the gathering and glad your here. No let’s get together or go out for lunch or dinner. Now my hubby’s family we have gone out for a fish fry and even movie night. Not sure if I should call my sister and invite us to visit? I feel she is mad because I didn’t drop everything and come home when mom went into hospice. You see we were wintering in Texas, and didn’t know when to come. My heart aches ?

    1. I can understand your heartache, Pauline. Perhaps you could invite them to join you for lunch at a neutral place before the gathering. Be prepared if they say they can’t. Some people’s hurts heal slowly, some people’s not at all. I will pray for the best scenario. ❤️

  6. This makes my heart so sad. It is something I’ve been dealing with for many years. My precious Mom was the “glue” in our family, when she passed away it was never the same. I tried for years to get everyone together even if it was once every couple of months. It just never worked out.
    On my husbands side, he very rarely wanted to get together with his family. We’ve been invited so many times to the beach and to his families home but he just won’t go. I’ve explained how important this is for our son who is 17, to get to know his family and spend time with them. He just won’t do it.

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