Aging isn’t for sissies. I have aches and pains in places I didn’t know I had a few years ago. My vision has changed…again. And I can remember conversations from high school but not what I came into the room for. I used to party till 3 and be at work at 7. Now I’m hard pressed to make it through a movie. I can’t hear what you’re saying half the time in normal conversation, yet get me in a room with more than three people talking and it sets my teeth on edge. What happened? I mean, one minute I was a nubile young co-ed and now I’m…not. Now…I’m so much MORE! Now, my bullshit detector is much more sensitive. Now, my ability to tolerate intolerance is virtually nonexistent. Now, I save my tears for when they count. I stopped counting my wrinkles and started counting the laughs that make them. I stopped caring what others think of me and caring more about others. I have become much bolder…fearless and strong. I have let life wash over me and like the stones in the river, my edges have become smoother. I’m rounded like a river rock. I’m softer and more flexible. I’m at ease in just about any situation. I have survived the death of my spouse. I am privileged to be this age. To become a crone…a wise one. I am free to be who and whatever I wish. Yes, this is a privilege I do not take lightly.

Celebrate who you are. If you are a wise, old woman…then BE that. Don’t be afraid to grow older. Don’t be afraid to grow older alone.

The other day I was leaning into another wave of grief. I was also not feeling well so I was vulnerable. I asked a friend “What will happen to me if I get really sick? Who will take care of me?” She pointed out that was fear talking. She is right, of course. We all have fears. I am not immune. But I can CHOOSE to be brave in the face of aging. I have watched my husband die. I have raised daughters. I have faced my own mortality. I’ve got this.