I’m not sure what I expected when I became a Christian in 2004. Lightning? The parting of the sea? Enlightenment? Thunder? I do know what I received was life altering. I received a healing to my very core. I felt like every cell in my body had been made new. It was remarkable.
When I was a baby Christian, I was like a sponge. I knew God, and loved Him. I knew Jesus, and finally embraced Him. But, when it came to the Holy Spirit, I was clueless. I had no idea exactly who He was, how He worked, what His function was. As the years have gone by, I’ve learned more and more and have developed my relationship with the Holy Trinity. And once in a while I get a big A-Ha moment that shines a light on some aspect I didn’t understand before.
I’ve long known and understood when the Holy Spirit talks to me. Those “nudges” that move and steer me in a certain direction are an indication of His presence. When I worship or hear a particularly moving sermon or scripture and I get goose bumps…that’s the Holy Spirit. All those years when I felt a knock on the door of my heart to let Jesus into my life? That was the Holy Spirit. I get all that now. And sometimes when I call out to Him and get the answer in moments, it reiterates just how close the Holy Spirit is….He lives inside us. He is that aspect of God that touches our hearts and minds with an intimacy only God can provide. I had that experience this weekend.
We had lunch with some of the local residents who live near the farm. Over lunch, my elderly aunt became a topic of discussion and I recounted how difficult that time had been. Then at church yesterday, Pastor Justin spoke on forgiveness. True forgiveness breaks the chains that are holding you prisoner. I thought back to my conversation of the day before and realized, I still had a spirit of unforgiveness as I was holding some resentment and hurt in my heart over some of the things my aunt said and did while I was trying to help her. In retrospect, I was quite filled with “You have no idea what she put me through!” That resentment, however small, is the poison I keep drinking yet she is totally unharmed.
At the end of services, Pastor Justin did an alter call and asked those to come forward who wished to let go of resentments and hurts and embrace a spirit of forgiveness. He came to each of us and laid his hands on our heads and prayed over us. I left feeling completely changed…yet again.
Do you have someone you are harboring a spirit of unforgiveness for? Is there someone who has hurt you that has left you saying, “I’ll show you!”? If so, this is a beautiful time to just let it go. Pray for those who have hurt you. Seek ways to praise them in public for the blessings they have given you…even if that blessing is the insight you gained from their unkindness. And, this is the season of giving. Send them a card. Stick a $5 gift card for coffee or to a restaurant. Tell them, “You know, I just wanted to let you know what a blessing you have been this year.” Or “I know you’ve gone through a rough patch and I just wanted to reach out and tell you I’m thinking of you.” Forgiveness goes a long way toward uniting us. I’m not saying send a gift card to your abuser. Or even reaching out for conversation with someone who physically or emotionally abused you. But you can still pray for them. The spirit of forgiveness in you just might bring you a new level of peace and healing of your own. ❤️
“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Colossians 3:13 ESV
How is the best was to forgive some one who has passed on ? I have prayed for this person many times, but there is still a great deal of pain down deep. I know that all I’m doing is hurting myself, but it is so difficult to handle. Especially this time of year.
That’s a difficult thing, isn’t it? I had a contentious relationship with my father that wasn’t rectified before he died. In my case, I was in a room alone with his body lying in the casket before cremation. I lashed out at him and said all the things I wish I could have said while he was living and didn’t. Interestingly, a year later, I went to the site when I spread his ashes on the bank of the Ohio River. My heart had softened somewhat. I stood there and apologized for yelling at him that way and that I forgave him for not being the father I wished he could have been. Then, I did a mental exercise that was quite healing for me. I had an internal conversation with him and imagined him, in his voice, saying all those things I wished he would have said. In other words, I had the conversation I had always wanted. I re-wrote history. Why? Because I wasn’t helping myself holding resentment and anger. He couldn’t be who I needed him to be in real life, so I made him who I wanted him to be in death. Then I let him go and thanked him for being such a blessing to me. He taught me so much about what a man should not be with his family. He showed me what I didn’t want in my life. And, miraculously, in the midst of all that, I remembered truly good things about him. He was a brilliant artist. He was an avid outdoorsman. He had unfulfilled dreams. This exercise allowed me to embrace his good attributes. And that allowed me to break the chains of unforgiveness. I hope this serves. ❤️
Beautiful.
Thank you, dear one. ❤️