How many of you have been in a relationship where “fixing” was the primary focus? OMGosh! That is a NO WIN situation. My second marriage was all about fixing each other. He wasn’t demonstrative. I tried to fix that and magically turn him into the huggy-kissy man I needed. I was needy, overweight, and depressed and he tried to fix that and turn back the hands of time. It was exhausting and fruitless. And it wasted about ten precious years of our lives. When Mr. Virgo came along, there was nothing to be fixed. We just fit. And we could rest in that. We were an oasis in a great big desert.

Even in our everyday lives, we are often tempted to try to fix a situation. I’m practicing with one of my friends. We’ve been working on her bathroom for the last few weeks. There are some things I have more experience with than she does, but I give input when asked and do my best to step back and be her cheerleader. She’s the one who will grow with the sense of accomplishment. I don’t have to jump in and try to steal her thunder. I was telling another friend the other day about being anxious about going to a crowded theater. The answer I got was refreshing. “I can’t fix that for you. But I can be your friend while you fix it.” I think that response did more for me than anything. It acknowledged my feelings while setting a boundary with love and respect.

How….healthy!

❤

““Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”

1 Samuel 14:7