In evaluating where I am in my grief journey, I have come to a very important crossroads. I always get introspective in the weeks leading up to Mr. Virgo’s Angelversary. I look at where I was, where I am, and where I want to be in the coming year. This time, all it took was a critical glance in the mirror and too tight jeans to tell me what needs tending to in the coming months.

My weight has always gone up and down. It was a real problem in my second marriage, but Mr. Virgo would have loved me if I had a third arm growing out of my forehead. He walked 12-16 hours a day in his line of work. I sat at my desk most of the time. The last thing he wanted to do was go out and exercise, which suited me fine. Or, at least, I thought it did.
As winter staked its claim on my hips and my psyche this year, I became sullen, lethargic, and not entirely pleasant to be around. The smallest exertion left me breathless and I found that to be alarming. See…here’s the thing. I honestly thought I would just die after losing Mr. Virgo. I didn’t dream I’d be left standing three years later in sweatpants and a shaggy Walmart haircut. Staring at that woman in the mirror was a rude wake up call. I’ve made great progress emotionally as I’ve navigated the roughest patch of water in my life. So now it’s time to take back my body.

I never do anything half-a$$ed. I cut out sugar, gluten, and bread immediately. I had already virtually cut out sodas at the first of the year. February 28th is my older grand’s birthday. What better way to celebrate than to begin a new lifestyle? I have either walked, biked, or done cardio everyday since. I’ve cut out all processed food. I eat clean and green…whole foods and grains. I eat raw fruits and vegetables…as much as I can. And water…water till my eyeballs are floating! I have not weighed myself, but I know how much I weighed in Colorado the first week of January. I feel SO much better already. My brain is actually sharper and I’m thinking clearer. My mood is elevated and I am even more hopeful than usual.

Grief is hard on you. It takes a toll on your body, mind, and spirit. Early in the grief process, there is absolutely no way you can control it. Eventually, however, there comes a point where you can begin to successfully make choices. Exercise, clean eating, and getting fit are my way of taking charge. I can’t wait to see what come next!

❤️

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.”

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 NIV