Quite often, my topic of discussion for my blog posts come from some comment made here the day before. I read your comments during the day as they come in and try to at least acknowledge them with a “like” so you know I read them. Some I make comments on. If I replied to every one I wouldn’t get anything else done. I love your comments, though. They are insightful, loving, encouraging and often give me much to think about.
Every once in a while I have to go looking for something that triggers an interesting thought. I always pray for God to bring the right words. Yesterday was a search-for-a-subject day. I Googled “grief quotes”. Hundreds popped up. Literally….page after page after page. One I kept being drawn to was by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.
“The reality is you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same again. Nor should you be the same nor should you want to.”
I sat for the longest time reading and re-reading that…letting the words soak in. “…you will grieve forever.” I don’t WANT to grieve forever. Who wants to grieve forever? Sigh. “You will not ‘get over’ the loss…” Another thing I don’t want. But then there is some hope. “…you will learn to live with it.” Ahhhhh…”learn to live”! Yes…that is what we’re doing, isn’t it? And then…a promise. “You will be whole.” Please, please promise me I will be whole again. But this is a cautionary tale. “…you will never be the same again.” Truth, Liz. You’re preaching to the choir. I will never, ever be the same again. But then she goes on to say something that frees us. “Nor SHOULD you be the same nor should you WANT to.” (I placed the emphasis.) In these words, I have permission. I have the freedom to be different now. AND it’s ok if I don’t WANT to be the same as I was before. That’s good because you don’t walk through a raging fire and not have scars. You CAN’T ever be the same. It’s ok.
I’ve said this before, but it’s been no more true than it is in this context. When you walk through the fire of grief, and the flames begin to die down to ash, you will come upon gems. Precious bits of wisdom…golden nuggets of knowledge….sparkling gems of insight that are strong and true and hold infinite value. Don’t forget to stop and gather these gifts from God and carry them with you. These are rewards for your bravery, for your strength, for your unwillingness to give up when you cannot imagine going forward one more step.
There was one thing abundantly clear to me when I saw page after page after page of grief quotes. There isn’t anything you can say about grief that hasn’t already been said. The simple truth of the matter is…grief sucks. It just sucks. Period.
❤️
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”
Revelation 21:4 KJV