What do you get a guy who has EV.ERY.THING? Mr. FixIt’s birthday was yesterday. We don’t go overboard on things like that but I always want to give him something I know he will enjoy. We aren’t traveling till after the next covid vaccine and I get my surgery in Florida. We don’t dine out in restaurants. And the day was snowy, icy, and cold so we weren’t going anywhere anyway.
A few months ago, one of our granddaughters got her first job as a dental hygienist. She has a large window in front of her dental chair, so she bought a clear plastic bird feeder that attaches to the window with suction cups. As soon as I saw it, I knew I wanted to get one for my sweetheart. He LOVES his birds. He faithfully fills the feeders and he’s always pointing out what variety of bird is frequenting the smorgasbord on the Ponderosa. When I gave it to him yesterday morning, he had it filled and mounted on the window before I could get breakfast ready.
After scrambled eggs and fried potatoes, the phone rang over and over all day with birthday greetings. Our great granddaughter even called and sang the sweetest Happy Birthday to her Papaw. Around 4:00, my stepson and his youngest came over with…get this…a steak dinner from Texas Roadhouse! Now…THAT was a treat!
I miss dining out. I miss spending time with family and friends. I miss traveling. But, we have more money in the bank. We have more frequent and meaningful conversations with our kids than we used to. And, we’re healthy…and home…safe and sound. There will be other days when we can be more free to do spontaneous things, but we’ll have lots of birds to watch outside our windows in the meantime.
The real highlight of the day came in the form of a late Christmas present from my son-in-law’s mom. Sue and I are very close and chat every night before bed. Sometime in the last few months, she mentioned they had watched the video of our kids’ wedding. I told her offhandedly that I’d love to have a copy of that because I couldn’t remember it very well. You see, those were the Prozac years and I lost a whole decade of memories. Sometimes I have snippets of memory. Other times, it’s like someone told me about it, but I wasn’t really there.
Mr. FixIt brought the mail in and said, “I think you got something from France. It says “fra-JEE-lay” on it. He smiled as he handed me the small brown envelope.
I rolled my eyes and said, “Goofball.” We both laughed.
It was the first half of my Christmas present from Sue. She told me it was coming late, so when I saw her return address, my curiosity was piqued. Inside was a DVD…of the wedding! I squealed and handed it to Mr. FixIt and asked him to put it in right away so we could watch it. You have to understand…this wedding was twenty-five years ago…two husbands ago…my baby was five…my beautiful firstborn was stunning…and seven very important loved ones are gone now, including my mom. I was doing a serious walk down memory lane here.
I kept leaning in to see if I could hear their voices. I wanted to catch every smile…every nuance of the people I’ve loved all my life. A tear slowly made its way down my cheek. My God…we were so YOUNG. The wedding was lovely…much lovelier than I remembered. I forgot we had live musicians from the Aspen Music Festival playing. I forgot Sue’s sister sang “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” (It was the era of The Lion King.) I forgot my nephew was just a toddler and my niece hadn’t been born yet.
I was glad to see that the wreck I was inside didn’t show on the outside. I looked like the poised mother-of-the-bride…taking it all in stride. But my anxiety was off the charts that day as it often was (and sometimes still is) when I am doing something stressful. My daughter still says that wedding was for me, not for her. I was always far too over involved in her life…by my own admission. She was the coolest kid. She was beautiful, self-assured. She had the high school life I only dreamed of…cheerleader, choir, theater, honor roll. I wasn’t mature or together enough to back off and let her enjoy it. I had to live it vicariously. It took a long time for both of us to understand…for me to apologize…and for her to forgive.
As I watched that day so long ago unfold in front of me, I was so proud of all of us for getting through the tough times that lay ahead…that we couldn’t even imagine at that point. I was so proud to see that those two young kids have built a beautiful life together and have been married for over twenty-five years now. It was a beautiful day…then and now. A beautiful gift. A beautiful birthday with this wonderful man. A beautiful life. A beautiful walk into my past.
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“For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.”
Proverbs 9:11 NIV