The other day on Facebook, my dear friend whom I’ve never met…Uma Girish…posted about CONTROL. She spoke about how we struggle and manipulate and force ourselves and others and justify it to ourselves with statements like “I’m just trying to look out for everyone.” Or “If I don’t do it, no one will.” 

Uma posits there is a better way. To trust the universe (in which I substitute the name of God and from this point on…I am paraphrasing her words to meet my faith) to manage your life. The energy that creates worlds knows how to handle your world.

He is not pushy, God. He will not force His way into your life. He waits…ever so patiently…for you to take your hands off and say, “Please, take over.” He waits for you to let go. 

When you lean back, God has permission to lean in and unleash his magic.

Where do you need some help in letting go?

This was my response…

“I have found myself criticizing my sweet husband. We married late in life and it’s hard for me to remember he and I do things differently at times. I am practicing leaning back and learning from him instead of forcing my will on him in an endless, nonproductive power struggle. I pray on this a lot. My husband’s light shines brighter when I don’t try to be the sun.”

“My husband’s light shines brighter when I don’t try to be the sun.”

Ginny McKinney

This is so true in any relationship…well, in any interaction, really. You needn’t travel far to see and feel derision in what used to be civil discourse in society. We have reached a new low where we have lost the empathy to see the humanity in others who believe differently than us. Somewhere, somehow, we have gone off the rails and dismissed those with drastically different views as subhuman.

I stumbled across this TED talk last night as I prayed through the ether to “bring me the words”. God always delivers when I let go and ask for His help. This talk was given by a young man who has been the subject of bullying because he is gay. As he was reading the hurtful, ugly comments directed at him, he began to click on the profiles of the bullies and looked at them as humans. Humans who were taught different values than him. Then he did something extraordinary.

He reached out and called some of them…those whom he felt safe talking to. And they had conversations. He started every conversation with “Why did you write that?” Along the way, he learned much about the other person. He saw some of their own hurts and how those hurts had formed opinions and shaped their worlds. 

As the young man states, “Empathy isn’t endorsement”. It doesn’t mean you are going to pick up the banner of the other and abdicate your own set of values. But what it DOES do is this…it lets you see the humanity in each other and that is something sorely lacking in this Era of Anger. 

Right after his video, another began. A lovely British woman “of a certain age” spoke about marriage and how the hurts of the past can drive us in the present. I loved what she had to say about words…how they can heal…how they can kill. This is what we have been studying in “I Declare War” by Levi Lusko in small group from church. 

Words. We can create angels with them.

We’ve hidden behind screens and that has given a false sense of bravado. It has dropped our shield of kindness and empathy. It has unplugged the filter that keeps us from being our best selves. This is nowhere more evident than in the political arena today…on either side. And if this is the example we are setting for future generations, I cannot see that it will improve in any way.

CONTROL. Everyone wants it. Truly…only God can ultimately wield it. Letting go of the illusion of control and seeking kindness, goodness, empathy, love, hope, joy is the only way to live a life that is not driven by toxic stress. When I tune into the wrong speaker, my stress level shoots through the roof. When I search for the information I need to know and leave the rest and take action based on my beliefs, I take the power away from the angry pitchman and put it back into God’s hands where it belongs. And this is what lifts me back up.

I can ill afford to nap away this nightmare. I have to strike a balance between informed citizen and running off screaming into the night. It’s not easy finding that balance, but peace of mind…every little bit I can find…is the only way to preserve my mental health in this day and age.

And now…since this is “Feel Good Friday”, I want to share this video with you.

This demonstrates pure compassion and fills me with hope. Hope. Because, dear ones…..please, please believe me when I tell you….

There is SUCH goodness in the world. Please, don’t forget that. Please don’t let the media make you think there is not. Just go out and look for it…and build on it. Nurture it and let it grow.

❤️

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:32 NIV