“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”
‭‭3 John‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” So says the old wives tale. While it may not keep you healthy 100% of the time, good clean eating and regular exercise go a long, long way toward improving your quality of life. Since I started Medicare on June 1st, I have been playing catch-up with my healthcare. I’ve seen my family doctor for a physical. I’ve had my mammogram and resultant biopsy and surgery. I’ve had blood screening. I have an appointment to see a dermatologist for a thorough skin check since I have a history of melanoma. And I have to see a gastroenterologist for a colonoscopy.

It is important to keep up with preventative care, but it is often difficult after becoming a widow. Like the self-care issues we discussed yesterday, seeing your family doctor and dentist is vitally important. You go through one of life’s worst stressors when a loved one dies. This is not the time to neglect your health. Often, the stress of losing someone close to you can actually trigger diseases. I developed an autoimmune disorder after losing Mr. Virgo and had Plantar Palmar Psoriasis. My hands and feet developed thick, hard skin and split like a million razor cuts. It was painful and debilitating and took four years to resolve. A change in finances and a lack of adequate insurance kept me from finding a primary care physician when I moved to West Virginia. I had to rely on my Colorado doctor and see her when I was there for visits. Fortunately, I never had a major health issue, but now I am behind on my routine health maintenance.

Healthcare isn’t the only area that needs your attention when you are grieving. It is important to nurture yourself with something that brings you joy. It could be anything from raising African violets to playing a musical instrument to buying a camper and heading for the hills. Find something…anything (healthy)…that brings you joy and do that. It isn’t easy at first. You may feel too tired. Too overwhelmed. Too guilty. You may have genuine difficulties financially that you need to work around. You may have family who think it is absolutely bonkers to go traipsing off into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado…but do it anyway. If it scares you…do it anyway. Sometimes the fear doesn’t go away so we just have to do things while we are afraid. Eventually, it gets easier. Little by little.

Make a plan. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work out. Make another plan. Or another one. Find your joy again. And remember, it will be different than the joy you felt before this terrible thing happened. Different. Not bad…just, different. A new normal. Make an idea board with clippings from magazines. Make a Pinterest page. (Or several! Who can make just one, right?) Start a Facebook page or a blog to journal about your self discovery. That’s how I became a writer and speaker. Find groups of like-minded women…be it politics or philanthropy or travel or quilting. Join forces with others. For me, it was Sisters on the Fly and Girl Campers.

You can perform CPR on yourself…you can “Change”, you can “Plan”, and you can “Recharge”. Come back to life. In your own time. In your own way. On your own terms. But try…in every thing you do…try to find joy again. Life is waiting for you. God will walk with you every step of the way. And I’ll be here to encourage you and be your cheerleader. ❤