I wrote this poem the first Christmas after losing Mr. Virgo. It had been just a little over nine months since his sudden death. I was broken in a million pieces. I asked my daughter the other day where I spent that Christmas and she said it was with her. I have no memory of that. I remember sitting with Santa in early December and asking him for a new heart. I remember I put up my tree and it took every bit of strength I had. I remember mattress surfing for a couple of days afterward. That’s about it.
I found the poem while editing the book and decided to share it again for Christmas Eve. Even though I’m not as lost as I was when I wrote it, I wouldn’t change one word. If you are in the throes of grief, or even if you’re down the road a ways but still struggling with the holidays, my prayer is that my writing affords you some comfort. I had a scare yesterday when a friend texted me that she wasn’t sure but it sounded like one of our mutual friends and classmates had passed away. It turned out it was her mother, which is sad of course. It just brings home the point that we are never, ever prepared for loss. Loss is loss, no matter how long you’ve known it was coming. While I am saddened for her loss, I was greatly relieved it was not my friend.
Blessings to you this Christmas Eve. May you remember the Reason for the Season and give the reins over so you don’t have to carry all this by yourself. You are never, ever alone when you have God in your life.
It's Christmas Time in Heaven by Ginny McKinney If only I'd have known Your days on Earth were few, I'd have spent each waking moment Of my life with you. I would have taken pictures To mark each passing day Then I could see you when I want Since you have gone away. I know you're up in Heaven. I know you're there with God. I know you're there with Mom and Dad, But oh, this time is hard. It's Christmas time, my darling. Times past were filled with glee. But this year all I think about is You're not here with me. No sneaky shaking presents. There is no hug or kiss. My heart just feels so empty. It's you I really miss. It's Christmas time in Heaven. I know this must be true. For every day was Christmas Day When it was spent with you! ❤
“I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; I remembered my songs in the night. My heart meditated…”
Psalm 77:5-6 NIV