Here They Come Again

Waves

Waves. Grief comes in waves. I’ve been on top of the world the last few months. Feeling good. Feeling strong. Feeling happy. Then…BANG! That car pulled out in front of me. There was no room to stop. The crunch of metal, glass breaking, squealing tires, and the explosion of the airbag keeps haunting me. I see it over and over. I can’t make the results change, no matter how hard I try.

I have pain. I hate pain meds. If I take them more than three or four days, they make me depressed. I hate depression more than pain and definitely more than pain meds. So, I try other avenues…ice, acetaminophen, gentle stretching, meditation, and chiropractic medicine. Since I took the pain meds for a few days, the waves of grief and sadness washed over me yesterday. I know in a couple of days, I’ll feel much better. Until then, I ride it out. I’m tough as nails anymore. And…I’m as fragile as fine crystal. Grief leaves layers of vulnerability you never knew you could feel. Strong, weak, strong, weak…we peel through each one till we get to a thicker strong place. That’s when we get some relief for a while. But, all it takes is a little trauma, a little squeal of rubber, a little airbag to send you reeling for a bit.

I have a wonderful support system in place. My friends and family are right there when I need them. I’ll feel much better soon. Knowing that keeps me going. ❤️

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:26-27‬ ‭NIV‬‬

 

22 thoughts on “Here They Come Again

  1. Even in your pain, you just gave us a good word.I pray that you will feel better soon.You truly are a blessing to many people that you don’t even know.

  2. I lost my husband 7 years ago this April 15. Waves of grief… This truly hit home with me. It comes and hits you full force like an ocean wave and then gently backs off. I had never truly known grief until I lost my husband. We had lost several family members on his side and I never truly knew what he went through until I lost him. It is true time heals but I don’t think it ever goes away. I have also learned along my journey that the reason it hurts so bad when you lose your husband is because he is the one person in your whole life that you choose to be a part of your life. Your spouse is the only one you choose and therefore it is especially hard to let go. Prays for you as you physically heal from that accident. Thank you for you daily anecdotes and sharing your feelings in the journey of healing.

  3. How well we know the wave scene– hard to hear you are in their tossing!! I choose to picture you with surfboard+ reading material in hand… knowing to not inhale the surroundings, they are dismal… instead in my minds eye (my heart for you) I see you laying on that board reading and earphones pumping– determined to get to the other side of the grief zone– prayers going up- love your scripture reference♡

  4. Hi Ginny, I hope today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today. Someone told me that when I lost my husband 12 years ago. I still,think of him from time to time and on special days. I pray that this sad time for you and the sounds you hear of the accident will soon pass, and you will be back to the way you were, feeling healthy, strong, and happy again. My present husband and I have been on the road for a few weeks now in our little camper. Going home today to unpack as the weather is warming up and its time to put away the sweat pants and shirts and pull out some lighter clothes. We’ll repack and restock and be back on the road soon. I hope you will soon feel like doing the same. Life is short at best and life is good. God will see you through this and restore you, you are one of his and he loves you. Praying for you Dear Lady. Love, huggs & prayers! Cindy

  5. You’re right. You can ride it out. You have your strength, your faith and your support system all in place for such a time as this.

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