One of the hardest things to deal with since losing Mr. Virgo is…change. And of course, that is the one thing you can absolutely count on in this life. Change. Things change. People change. Situations change. And, unfortunately…places change.
I have to tell you, sometimes you have no way of knowing what God has up His sleeve when He leads you down a certain path. Why this way and not that? Sometimes we never figure it out. Other times, it becomes crystal clear. I love those times. Even when they break my heart.
When I first came to West Virginia, it was just a year and a half after losing Mr. Virgo. I lived on the family farm but only for a few weeks. When my aunt decided she really didn’t want help, I went off on my own for a couple years. I never dreamed I’d have the opportunity to come back and be the caretaker of the home of my heart. When my uncle asked me to take care of the place for him, I jumped at the chance.
I know God has a reason behind every move. There was a plan before I was born. I hadn’t really thought about why I got to live at the farm again. Until yesterday. Mr. FixIt and I have noticed a lot of heavy dump trucks going up the road lately. We heard this summer that they’re putting in a compressor station back beyond the farm so we surmised the work had begun. When we got there yesterday, I drove past the farm and went up the back road. It wasn’t long till we saw the signs. “Road Work Ahead” and “Flagger: Prepare to Stop”.
It’s funny. You hear change is coming. You see what other places look like when they change. Yet, you’re completely unprepared when the change comes and it affects your world. I’m a go-with-the-flow kinda gal, but when I saw them cutting into MY earth, MY world, my HEART…it crushed me. I motioned for the flagger to come over. I asked for details. “What are they doing there?” “How far back are they going?” “How long will this take?” He was a young man. Respectful. He seemed to understand this was hurtful to me. He explained carefully what steps they were taking. I sat and stared till the tears stung my eyes then I had to go.
I remember when they clear cut the back of the farm. I felt like this. But, trees grow back. This is a permanent scar that will never heal. As I sat and watched the big dump trucks back out the ridge to be filled with MY earth, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart.
“This is why you were given this time on the farm. You are here to memorize every inch of the place. You are here to document the passage. You are here to be a witness.”
Change is inevitable. I know that. I’m doing better with change. I don’t like it. And I especially don’t like them messing with the home of my heart. But, I’m also a realist. I’m pragmatic. There is now going to be a paved road out to the back of this ridge. There will be easier access to the workable land and that will improve the value of the farm. That’s the upside. There’s going to be a lot of sound pollution, increased traffic, as well as some environmental risks. That’s the downside.
I’ve always known my time on the farm is limited. I’ll still be taking care of it for the foreseeable future. And I’ll be saying goodbye to what it once was…one truckload of dirt at a time. ❤️
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:”
Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV
Oh Ginny. I am so sorry! Hugs my friend. Change is never easy.
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I’d really like to go back home, I miss a lot of things about it, but the realist in me knows that the changes I’ll see will also break my heart…and I guess it’s the memories I’m trying to capture, the innocence I grew up with..but it’s not there.. it’s with me! Changes, some I welcome, some take time to adapt to..we can travel down the road with you Ginny, thanks again for your writings on life! God bless!
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❤️ My sentiments exactly.
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I’m so sorry Ginny. As I age and see change I miss the days of my youth even more. My grandchildren have never experienced the simple pleasures of our youth, although my sons have done their best to show them quiet spots and beautiful places. The world has changed too much. I yearn for the simple times with beauty , being able to spend the day riding horses across pastures, riding bicycles and playing with friends without worrying about harm befalling them. Sitting by a quiet stream….not the noise and pollution of “progress” . When neighbors helped neighbors and you stopped and visited on porches. Now most don’t even know their neighbors names. Your photos help all of us remember these days and hold the memories tight in our hearts. Blessings always!
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Your post is helping me to accept the changes in my personal world. Being an energizer bunny 2 months ago and now dealing with medical issues has been a slap upside the head. Realizing that I now have limitations is mind boggling and humbling.
But God has a plan that will teach me acceptance, and so I will rest in the knowledge that He has me where I need to be.
Thank you Ginny.
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I’m sorry to hear of this change in your life ! Some changes are more painful than others .
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I can accept change. It is an evolutional process. The change I am having a difficult if not an impossible part of this process is what is happening to our lands. They are being destroyed and polluted and several generations down they will not have the funds available to clean it up. It may not even be able to be clean it up. Makes me sad! Water will be $5.00-$10.00 for a small bottle. No ground water will be fit to drink. And WV sold to China to destroy our lands further than they are now. I am sad.
Me, too. ?
Your drinking water could possibly get contaminated. We lived on a piece of property while helping renovate a very old house. We couldn’t drink the water because an oil well way back of the house had gotten contaminants in it (it was salty/oily to taste). It’s possible the house will not be practical to live in soon. Just a heads up, but you already know this I’m sure. I’m sorry. My grandmas house burned down several years ago. No one was in it, but it was the happy anchor of my childhood. I used to visit for up to two weeks, playing in the fields, gathering armloads of wild Black Eyed Susans, Queen Anne’s Lace, Goldenrod, and clover. I rode my pony there, fished in the two ponds, and sat in the pine forest behind the house, listening to the breeze through the branches and smelling the rich smell of pine and earth. We climbed the big old tree, in front of the house, it’s branches wide enough to lay on. When it burned, they found a log cabin inside, made of huge, square logs. We had glimpsed the logs through a crack in the attic wall. There was a hidden room we couldn’t access I have never known why was there. In the room was a trunk. I’ve always wanted to figure out how to get into that room and see what was in that trunk…..now I will never know.
Oh, Sally…they ruined the drinking water from the well nearly 60 years ago when they capped the wells on this property. Interestingly, I accidentally ran the well dry this spring and now the water tastes and smells much better. It’s an ever changing world, however. I know this.
I wish you could have seen in that trunk! ❤️
(When the house burned down, not the tree) the house burned for a long time, the logs were huge. They think it was an electrical short in a wire…so many memories.
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I was widowed nearly 17 months ago. I have seen so many changes in my life since that time, it makes my heart ache. The last time I was back in Michigan, where I grew up, I barely recognized the town because so much has changed over the years. Some changes good, some not (in my opinion). My childhood home is barely recognizable due to a two story addition. The whole neighborhood looks differrent to me. Lately I feel like I live on an alien planet. Maybe I am the alien living on this planet.
Mary Ann…I can totally relate to feeling like the alien on a foreign planet. It does get better…to some degree. But, we are acutely aware of all the differences that will always remain. ❤️
Is it on your farm?
The road that is being paved runs along the back property line of the farm. It’s 74 acres so it’s a ways away from the house but there will be noise and the nature of the area will be forever changed.