I had a huge day planned yesterday. I was really looking forward to gathering with two different groups of friends. I awoke sometime before dawn and my body just said, “Nope. Not today. Go back to sleep.” In the past, I might have forced myself up and made myself go. Since losing Mr. Virgo, I’ve learned to listen more to my body when it speaks to me.
Grief not only causes things like “grief brain” which was illustrated in the article I shared with you the other night. Several health ailments can be attributed to grief and the resultant stress it causes. High levels of cortisol…the “fight or flight” hormone…can cause everything from high blood pressure to heart disease to depression to substance abuse. It also affects your immune system and you tend to get sick easier and things last longer. There isn’t an expiration date on grief either. You may not be actively grieving, but you can still suffer from the repercussions.
Yesterday it was tummy trouble. Easy enough to fix with rest, fluids and over the counter medications. I have to be extra careful with things like gluten and fats now. I didn’t have to do that before Mr. Virgo died. Another thing that came my way was an autoimmune response to grief and I developed plantar-palmar psoriasis. I doctored that with steroids and every psoriasis cream known to man. I tried folk remedies and old wive’s tales. Nothing touched it till last year when I started using doTerra’s LifePak vitamins and CBD (canabidiol) ointment. It’s pretty well controlled now with occasional applications and I take a small dose of the vitamins every other day or so.
Nothing is the same after a profound loss. For a long time, I grieved not only for Mr. Virgo…but also for the ME that I lost in the process of grieving. When I finally let go of trying to recreate my life the way it was before, I began to embrace the life I was building. It’s much, much better but the physical things still creep up on me from time to time. I still find them frustrating, even though I am much better at listening to my body now. When it says, “Go back to sleep”…unless I have something that I absolutely HAVE to do…I listen. I texted my friends and told them I was going to have to bow out because I didn’t feel well. They totally understood. There will be other opportunities to get together. And I spent the day reading. I haven’t spent the day reading in ages because for the longest time, my grief brain wouldn’t allow me to concentrate long enough to get through a book. It was lovely to be able to read…and comprehend what I was reading. Mr. Fixit watched college basketball and a couple of movies while I cuddled up on the couch and listened to recordings of campfires and thunderstorms.
Remember…self care is not selfish. It is necessary. If you are alone, you may have the freedom to practice self care any time, but not always. I am fortunate to have this wonderful man who understands and supports my need for self care on a regular basis. What a gift he is to me. ❤️
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
1 Peter 5:7-11 NIV
I’d like to know about your meds for psoriasis. My husband has it really bad & his doctor has him on methotrexate now which really gets him down. He’s used all kinds of cream also but still battling this awful stuff.
I use doTerra’s LifePak vitamins. You should be able to find a friend or acquaintance who sells it near you. Many do. If you can’t find someone, let me know and I can hook you up with a distributor. The CBD ointment is cannabis…aka marijuana. Sort of. If you buy it in a state that has legalized marijuana, you can get the kind that has THC. That is the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana. Personally, I think it works a little better than the ointment with just CBD (cannabidiol). But I can only get it while I’m in Colorado. It isn’t legay in WV yet. Because of that, I order the CBD ointment online. It is perfectly legal and can be shipped everywhere. The ointment with the THC didn’t really make me feel any different. Maybe a little bit (increased heart rate) the first time or two. You don’t feel anything with the CBD ointment at all. I buy it through http://www.marysnutritionals.com but you might be able to find it locally through a health food store. I’ve shown the before and after photos to my doctors and they were incredibly impressed. ❤️
Love you beautiful words of wisdom and honest! Amazingly true!
Getting to know you better every story! Can’t wait to meet you in person!
❤️ Thanks for sharing!!
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I would like to know more too … I’m using a cortisone cream too that once upon a time helped me. I am battling a place on the back of my neck and I have long hair / what a mess ….I know it’s a reaction to stress . It’s ” funny how your body works … I have had a year long flare with IBS , trigggered by eating a side salad of iceberg lettuce . It was ongoing bc my husband was facing knee replacement, and I reasearchd like crazy and read too many horror stories about replacments that went so wrong .
We have no family , and I can’t drive currently due to a heart issue . Such a vulnerable feeling. Thanks to God , Dan’s surgery and recovery has went better than we could imagine , and I was foolish enough to think that my IBS and psoriasis would ” settle down ” within a week or so after we got home from his surgery . How wrong I was but … We can’t thank God enough for how well he has done . It’s good we don’t know how curvy life’s journey is… I do know God is faithful . So faithful . Doing my best to count my blessings and to keep fear at bay . Sorry for a rambling ” poor pitiful me ” reply . We know God made a way for us , has made a way for us , and will continue to make a way for us . Lifting the name of Jesus …
I wrote a long response above that I think will answer your questions. Do keep in mind… A) I am not a doctor. B) What worked for me, may not work for you. I had tried everything short of light therapy and radiation. I was literally desperate. My feet were so bad, I had to wrap them with duct tape to keep them from splitting open. I went through box after box after box of bandaids on my hands and fingers for the same reason. It was excruciating to open doors and jars or to squeeze a lemon into a cup of tea. Literally two weeks after using the cannabis ointment and doTerra vitamins, my hands and feet were clear. Not just improved…clear. It was truly a miracle. ❤️
Thanks so much for replying … I can’t get the oil in our state . I do have to see a dermatologist about a ” suspicious ” place on my leg , and I will ask him/ her ( going to to take first available appt ) about my neck too. The over the counter cortisone is just not working anymore . It’s driving me crazy , and I’m already crazy ! Lol
Thankful you got relief . It’s madddening … I ” knew ” but I simply hadn’t connected it to my stress level until I read your post . Trusting that 2018 is going to be a kinder year …
Thank you for your blog and scripture reference.
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